UK – Experts are examining a mysterious slime in a Somerset nature reserve in the wake of a meteor strike thousands of miles away in Russia. Translucent goo which resembles “something living” was discovered pretty Ham Wall reserve by nature lovers. Theories abound about what the jelly is – from “crystallised brain fungus” to the decomposing remains of a dead frog. Baffled site manager Steve Hughes said: “Whatever it is, it’s very weird.” The unexplained blobs had cropped up all around the reserve. “This past week we’ve been finding piles of this translucent jelly dotted around the reserve,” he said. “Always on grass banks away from the water’s edge. “They are usually about 10cm (4in) in diameter. We’ve asked experts what it might be but no one is really sure. Whatever it is, it’s very weird.” According to local folklore, the substance appears in the aftermath of meteor showers. Previous manifestations of it date to the 14th century, according to records. During that period the slime has acquired celestial monikers including “star jelly,” “astral jelly,” or even “astromyxin”. Royal Society for the Protection of Birds spokesman Tony Whitehead said: “In folklore it is said to be deposited in the wake of meteor showers. It’s great that in this day and age that there are still mysteries out there. “Our reserve team will be looking out for the slime over the next few days but if anyone can offer any explanations we’d be glad to hear.”
I have one hard and fast rule that I never break. And that is, when there’s a strange unexplained phenomenon and the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds is looking for an explanation, I don’t sit idly by. Because frankly, I can’t think of a group more qualified than the R.S.P.B to address something of this nature. So when they call for help, I don’t ask why, I just come running.
So what have we got here? Well for one thing, we can rule out it being alien slime. The reason being that no one was killed. The only time you encounter alien slime is when a nasty critter like Predator or Alien is hiding out, someone puts their hand in the goo and wonders where it came from and you know that guy is seconds away from being dinner. And since the folks at the Royal Society are handling this, you know Scotland Yard isn’t finding nature lovers’ remains in extraterrestrial stool samples all over Ham Wall. So I suspect it’s something else entirely: Ectoplasmic residue. We are participants in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909! A psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions is building up beneath the city. Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with explosive supernormal potential. It’s Mood Slime.
At least though you can talk to Mood Slime. Say supportive, nurturing things. Not like just plain old ghost slime. That stuff just makes you feel so funky.
PS. There’s just no way I can finish this blog without mentioning the time Kati and I won at bar trivia, just the two of us. Against like 100 teams. And one of the questions involved the top VHS-selling movie of 1988 that had a signature catch phrase. And our friend Pete whose team was competing against us thought the movie was Ghostbusters and the catch phrase was “He slimed me.” Of course we got it right, but the Pete’s gawdawfully bad answer made the night all that much better. It’s not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
Harold Ramis is the greatest comic talent of the last 100 years to never star in his own movie. He’s shared the stage with Bill Murray in Stripes, Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2, but it is as a writer that he’s a genius. Stripes, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Back to School, Animal House, Groundhog Day and Analyze This. He also directed Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, Analyze This and National Lampoon’s Vacation. Always the straight man, while secretly the funniest guy in the room. Here’s a quick tribute to Harold at 68:
The Patron Saint of Movie Quoter, Mr. Bill Murray is celebrating his 62nd birthday and what better way to celebrate than to have the self proclaimed Quote Master General himself, your ol’ Uncle Buck, to give you 62 big quotes from the King’s legendary career. Really, its “no big deal.”
Bill Murray’s latest film, “Hyde Park on Hudson,” has America’s favorite comedy legend taking the dramatic role of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. At first glance, you might think this would be a tough role to pull off, but here are 10 movie quotes that not only show that Bill will make a great FDR, but prove that he would be a great president for America!
Being a strong Commander and Chief of the military.
There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don’t see any other way out. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him. - Groundhog Day
Whether it be a pesky groundhog or a nation that just became a nuclear power, the key is identifying your target and taking care of business.