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Russian Meteor Creates a Mysterious Slime in England. What a Disgusting Blob…

UK – Experts are examining a mysterious slime in a Somerset nature reserve in the wake of a meteor strike thousands of miles away in Russia. Translucent goo which resembles “something living” was dcovered pretty Ham Wall reserve by nature lovers. Theories abound about what the jelly – from “crystalled brain fungus” to the decomposing remains of a dead frog. Baffled site manager Steve Hughes said: “Whatever it , it’s very weird.” The unexplained blobs had cropped up all around the reserve. “Th past week we’ve been finding piles of th translucent jelly dotted around the reserve,” he said. “Always on grass banks away from the water’s edge. “They are usually about 10cm (4in) in diameter. We’ve asked experts what it might be but no one really sure. Whatever it , it’s very weird.” According to local folklore, the substance appears in the aftermath of meteor showers. Previous manifestations of it date to the 14th century, according to records. During that period the slime has acquired celestial monikers including “star jelly,” “astral jelly,” or even “astromyxin”. Royal Society for the Protection of Birds spokesman Tony Whitehead said: “In folklore it said to be deposited in the wake of meteor showers. It’s great that in th day and age that there are still mysteries out there. “Our reserve team will be looking out for the slime over the next few days but if anyone can offer any explanations we’d be glad to hear.”

 

I have one hard and fast rule that I never break.  And that , when there’s a strange unexplained phenomenon and the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds looking for an explanation, I don’t sit idly by.  Because frankly, I can’t think of a group more qualified than the R.S.P.B to address something of th nature.  So when they call for help, I don’t ask why, I just come running.

 

So what have we got here?  Well for one thing, we can rule out it being alien slime.  The reason being that no one was killed.  The only time you encounter alien slime when a nasty critter like Predator or Alien hiding out, someone puts their hand in the goo and wonders where it came from and you know that guy seconds away from being dinner.  And since the folks at the Royal Society are handling th, you know Scotland Yard n’t finding nature lovers’ remains in extraterrestrial stool samples all over Ham Wall.  So I suspect it’s something else entirely: Ectoplasmic residue.  We are participants in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909! A psychomagnatheric slimeflow of immense proprtions building up beneath the city. Negative human emotions that are forming into a vicious ectoplasm with explosive supernormal potential.  It’s Mood Slime.

 

At least though you can talk to Mood Slime. Say supportive, nurturing things. Not like just plain old ghost slime. That stuff just makes you feel so funky.

PS. There’s just no way I can finh th blog without mentioning the time Kati and I won at bar trivia, just the two of us. Against like 100 teams. And one of the questions involved the top VHS-selling movie of 1988 that had a signature catch phrase. And our friend Pete whose team was competing against us thought the movie was Ghostbusters and the catch phrase was “He slimed me.” Of course we got it right, but the Pete’s gawdawfully bad answer made the night all that much better. It’s not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Egon lives on! Happy Birthday Harold Ramis




Harold Ram the greatest comic talent of the last 100 years to never star in h own movie. He’s shared the stage with Bill Murray in Stripes, Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2, but it as a writer that he’s a genius. Stripes, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Back to School, Animal House, Groundhog Day and Analyze Th. He also directed Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, Analyze Th and National Lampoon’s Vacation. Always the straight man, while secretly the funniest guy in the room. Here’s a quick tribute to Harold at 68:

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“A Surprise Party? Whose Idea was this?” Bill Murray Turns 62

The Patron Saint of Movie Quoter, Mr. Bill Murray celebrating h 62nd birthday and what better way to celebrate than to have the self proclaimed Quote Master General himself, your ol’ Uncle Buck, to give you 62 big quotes from the King’s legendary career. Really, its “no big deal.”

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Bill Murray for President: Why he will make a great FDR

Bill Murray’s latest film, “Hyde Park on Hudson,” has America’s favorite comedy legend taking the dramatic role of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. At first glance, you might think th would be a tough role to pull off, but here are 10 movie quotes that not only show that Bill will make a great FDR, but prove that he would be a great president for America!

Being a strong Commander and Chief of the military.
There no way that th winter ever going to end as long as th groundhog keeps seeing h shadow. I don’t see any other way out. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him. - Groundhog Day

Whether it be a pesky groundhog or a nation that just became a nuclear power, the key identifying your target and taking care of business.

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Morning Napalm: Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown

  

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