You motorboatin’ son of a b!tch! Female constable accused of “forced motorboating”

(via Huffington Post) A Galveston County, Texas Constable is accused by a former employee of wildly inappropriate and crude acts including what one publication describes as “forced motorboating.”  It’s part of a sexual harassment lawsuit filed earlier this month against Pam Matranga by former deputy James Gist, the Houston Press reported.  Matranga walked up behind Gist, pulled her blouse over his head and pressed “her breasts against the head of Plaintiff,” according to the lawsuit, in one of several graphic encounters that she allegedly instigated last year.  On another occasion, the suit claims Matranga, “began joking with plaintiff about attending ‘chunky chick night’ at strip clubs in the area where [she] would have the opportunity to perform. Defendant Matranga proceeded to lift one leg over the arm of plaintiff’s chair and began making gyrating motions with her hips, while placing her hands at the top of plaintiff’s chair, mimicking how a topless dancer would perform a lap dance at a strip club.”  She also allegedly put a pack of cigarettes between her legs and told Gist, “Oh! I have the box right here in my box.”

 

I defy you to find a part of this article that is not hilarious.  Shall we dissect?

1. “forced motorboating”.  It’s an epidemic of epic proportions.  Perhaps a telethon is in order?

2. “chunky chick night.”  That is a party I want to attend.

3. Can you IMAGINE if your BOSS started giving you a lap dance as if from nowhere?  What would you do?  I would move to Antarctica, immediately.  It is literally the only option. 

4. Obviously, “the box on my box” incident is classic.  And really, this shouldn’t be construed as harrassment, because it was the truth.  That’s how it works, right?

At any rate, I really feel for James Gist, because this is Pam Matranga.



And that’s why I am sure this conversation never happened between James Gist and, well, anyone…

 

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