In Honor of Movember: A Dirty Dozen of Movie Moustaches So Awesome They Could Cure Cancer by Themselves

Movember.comDuring November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in the US and around the world. With their Mo’s, these men raise vital awareness and funds for men’s health issues, specifically prostate and testicular cancer initiatives.

Click here to donate.

I’d like to help out this very worthy cause any way I can. And since actually growing my own moustache is out of the question (30 days isn’t nearly enough time for me to grow one. It would take all Minter and most of Mring for me. Stupid lack of hormones) I’ll contribute in other ways. One, I’ll donate. And two, I’ll draw attention to Movember the best way I know how: By celebrating the greatest, most over-the-top and generally awesomest movie moustaches of the last 25 years. Categorized into superlatives, groomed and waxed for your enjoyment. Savor the flavor:


12) Best Old West Moustaches: Tie, Wyatt Earp & Doc Holliday “Tombstone”


Quote: “I am your Huckleberry”

11) Best Rocker Moustache: Derek Smalls, “This is Spinal Tap”

Quote: “This is Cindy. I’m her first moustache.”


10) Best Frontier Moustache: Lt. Dunbar, “Dances with Wolves”

Quote: ” Dunbar, not Dumb Bear.”


9) Best Moustache That Saved the Union: Col. Joshua Chamberlain, “Gettysburgh”

Quote: “What we’re fighting for, in the end… we’re fighting for each other. Sorry. Didn’t mean to preach.”


8) Best Vengeance-Seeker Moustache: Inigo Montoya, “The Princess Bride”

Quote: “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”


7) Best Mob Boss Moustache: Bill the Butcher, “Gangs of New York”

Quote: “I don’t give a Tuppenny f^ck about your moral conundrums, you meat-headed sh*tsack!”


6) Best Bad Muthaf^cka Moustache: Jules Winnfield, “Pulp Fiction”

Quote: “Well every time my fingers touch brain, I’m Superfly TNT! I’m the Guns of Navarone!”


5) Best 70′s Moustache: Ron Burgundy, “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”

Quote: “I look goooood. Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!”


4) Best Macho Jock Moustache: White Goodman: “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story”

Quote: “Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey… Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now.”


3) Best War-Hero-Turned-Antiwar-Activist Moustache: Ron Kovic, “Born on the 4th of July”

Quote: “Penis! Penis! Big f^cking erect penis, Mom!”


2) Best Eastern European Moustache: Borat, “Borat:Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”

Quote: “Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?”


1) Best Cop Moustache: Tropper Ramathorn, “Super Troopers”

Quote: “Who wants a moustache ride?”


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