Movie Quotes

Man, what are you doing with a gun in space?

Will Patton

That's why I told you touch nothing". But you're bunch of cowboys!"

Peter Stormare

I know the presidents' chief scientific advisor, we were at MIT together. And, i...

Jason Isaacs

I have been drilling holes in the earth for thirty years. And I have never, neve...

Bruce Willis

No I know. I just...I wanted to say that I'm sorry about everything, and...I got...

Will Patton

I understand that you were handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive yo...

Liv Tyler

In five years you have never apologized to me this quickly. Something's goin' on...

Bruce Willis

Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice - my choice and not yours.

Liv Tyler

And this is the best that you c - that the-the government, the U.S. government c...

Bruce Willis

20 years. Haven't turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there.

Will Patton

Man, this is - this is historic. Guys, this is, like, deep blue hero stuff! Of c...

Owen Wilson

While I don't share his enthusiasm, you know me. Beam me up, Scotty!

Steve Buscemi

Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I'd be comi...

Bruce Willis

Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the w...

Ben Affleck

Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!

Peter Stormare

Miss Stamper? Colonel Willie Sharp, United States Airforce, ma'am. Requesting pe...

William Fichtner

Talk about the wrong stuff.

William Fichtner

Get off...the nuclear...warhead.

William Fichtner

Hey Sharp! No nukes! No nukes! No nukes!

Steve Buscemi

Yeah, it's all wrong, man. We shouldn't even be up here.

Steve Buscemi

Well, there's uh, few things here, uh...nothin' really big, uh, just- Well, as a...

Bruce Willis

Yeah one more thing, um...none of them wanna pay taxes again.

Bruce Willis

Ever.

Bruce Willis

AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!

Bruce Willis

I am the only certified astronaut. And I'm saving your American ass!

Peter Stormare

This is a pretty big loan. Why don't you count the cash?

Vic Manni

You don't look too healthy, you're not gonna die on me are you?

Vic Manni

Let's just say no more than you are.

Steve Buscemi

Go get my goddamn phone book! Get the book! Get the book! Get the book!

John Mahon

A busted ship? And I'm strapped in here? I had a great spot picked out there!

Steve Buscemi

Man, I swear to God, she never told me her age.

Steve Buscemi

200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock...

Billy Bob Thornton

Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, ...

Owen Wilson

Baby, do you think its possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very...

Liv Tyler

I hope so, otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?

Ben Affleck

Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home.

Bruce Willis

Looks like I'm gonna have to break that promise.

Bruce Willis

You go take care of my little girl now. That's your job. Always thought of you a...

Bruce Willis

I, um, I lied to you, too, when I told you that I didn't wanna be like you, beca...

Liv Tyler

No, no, really, because it didn't work out too well for the coyote, Harry.

Steve Buscemi

Because I'm a genius.

Steve Buscemi

I'm gonna give you three seconds to shut this bomb down, and then I'm gonna make...

Bruce Willis

Crazy Willie put you up to this?

Bruce Willis

You know, Harry, there are only, uh, five words, I want to hear from you right n...

Ben Affleck

That's like - I dunno, that's like eleven words or something. You know what how ...

Ben Affleck

Just don't, wait one minute.

Will Patton

Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it.

Jeff Daniels

Somethings not right, too much time has gone by. We're going back to do it ourse...

William Fichtner

This is great. We just happen to run into the Grand Canyon on the asteroid.

Ben Affleck

Back off! You don't know the components!

Jessica Steen

Look, they're the best at what they do.

Billy Bob Thornton

I'll-I'll tell 'em Oscar, you got it.

Bruce Willis

You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a ...

Steve Buscemi

WE WIN, GRACIE!

Bruce Willis

Shut up! Just shut up! Shut your mouth! Those men in that room have zero toleren...

Bruce Willis

You all right, Max?

Bruce Willis

Blew the tranny...blew the tranny.

Will Patton

So what's the verdict?

Billy Bob Thornton

I told you, you took wrong way, wrong road.

Peter Stormare

What? What road? Do you see any roads around here?

Ben Affleck

First time I got my period, Rock had to take me into Tai-Pei for Tampax. And the...

Liv Tyler

For god's sakes think about what you're doin'. Why are you listening to someone ...

Bruce Willis

Do we have a problem?

Jessica Steen

Mom, that salesman's on TV.

Chris Farley

Mr Stamper , I'm General Montgomery, commander of the Pacific air forces. I've b...

Armageddon

Excuse me? Am I wearing a sign that says Karl's slave?

Grace Zabriskie

United States astronauts train for years. You have twelve days.

William Fichtner

Uh, those were nothing. Uh, they're the size of basketballs and, uh, Volkswagens...

Billy Bob Thornton

If we don't put this bomb down in a hole 800 feet onto a fault line, all you're ...

Bruce Willis

You swear on your daughter's life, on my family's, that you can hit that mark.

William Fichtner

I-I don't, I-I don't...Whatever you think.

Edward Herrmann

So am I. And I'm not so optimistic. We spend 250 billion dollars a year on defen...

Keith David

Don't worry! This is normal!

Owen Wilson

How would you know?

Eric Allan Kramer

Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The pers...

John Mahon

Why don't you share the wealth, pal.

Jim Maniaci

Give this to Truman. Make sure Truman gets that! Get in there.

Bruce Willis

You know, it would normally take 18 months to psychologically prepare pre-screen...

John Aylward

By all means.

Grayson McCouch

Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home ...

Peter Stormare

Harry! Harry! You can't do this to me! It's my job!

Ben Affleck

He used to make the tip of the bomb. The thing that finds, uh, New York or Washi...

Peter Stormare

Fail. Fail. Depressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is...

John Aylward

No, I never saw Star Wars.

Peter Stormare

Fifty-six tickets in seven states...

Owen Wilson

Oh, you didn't see that one, huh?

Steve Buscemi

To tell you the truth, I'm kind of encouraged. This guy Chick here was an Air Fo...

Billy Bob Thornton

Guess what guys, it's time to embrace the horror! Look, we've got front row tick...

Steve Buscemi

Will you make mine really tight, 'cause I don't wanna fall out. I mean, almost t...

Owen Wilson

I thought you said I could.

Bruce Willis

Zero Barrier. You do that, and the remaining pieces of rock should be deflected ...

Billy Bob Thornton

Get my phone book, get those names of those guys from NASA.

John Mahon

Wow, this is a goddamn Greek tragedy.

Steve Buscemi

Can they physically survive the trip? That's all I need to know here, okay?

Billy Bob Thornton

Oh my God, this is it.

Anthony Guidera

With the proximity of the asteroid, and no prep time, none of our primary plans ...

Billy Bob Thornton

We didn't see this thing coming?

E.G. Marshall

I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from w...

John Mahon

Does this look okay to you? Does this look okay?

Clark Heathcliffe Brolly

This is so much fun, it's freaky!

Steve Buscemi

Hey pinhead, why don't you go find your own party.

Clark Heathcliffe Brolly

This place is like Dr. Seuss's worst nightmare!

Steve Buscemi

So, when the rogue comet hit the asteroid belt, it sent shrapnel right for us. F...

Billy Bob Thornton

Aw, gee, lady. I just came here to drill.

Will Patton

Five wonderful years.

Ben Affleck

I love you, boy.

Bruce Willis

I'm sorry A.J. I was way off on the odds!

Peter Stormare

White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House f...

Bruce Willis

I'll draw. Let's draw.

Ben Affleck

Sedatives are used all the time, doctor.

Jeff Daniels

If anybody's anybody, I'm Han and you're-you're Chewbacca.

Ben Affleck

I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but do you think we'l...

Steve Buscemi

Your crew just blew the whole transmission, A.J.

Bruce Willis

Personally, I don't know how they survived the tests.

John Aylward

'Cause I'm trying to describe to you how these DATs keep your ass on the ground,...

Jessica Steen

Well, who on the spaceship wants to know why?

Steve Buscemi

Baby, you have such sweet pillow talk.

Liv Tyler

The reason we were shooting for grid 8 was because thermographics indicated that...

Steve Buscemi

Here, you can buy yourself a neck.

Steve Buscemi

Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right?

Bruce Willis

It hit with the force of 10,000 nuclear weapons. A trillion tons of dirt and roc...

Rex Allen Jr.

Uh, Noonan's got two women friends that he'd like to see made American citizens ...

Bruce Willis

You got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp?

Bruce Willis

God, it sucks up here.

Edward Herrmann

This is how we fix problem in the Russian space station!

Peter Stormare

Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me ...

Steve Buscemi

Well, actually, we have a lot better rockets than the coyote.

Billy Bob Thornton

I will make 800 feet. I swear to God I will.

Bruce Willis

The president's advisors feel that the drilling isn't working. And we've lost ra...

Keith David

I'm temporarily insane, Rock, it's all right.

Bruce Willis

Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of...some of that.

Billy Bob Thornton

Neil Armstrong, 1969, bouncing on the moon. He's bouncing because there's less g...

Jessica Steen

Imagine a firecracker in the palm of your hand. You set it off, what happens? Yo...

Jason Isaacs

Well cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, and, you know, I mean puttin...

Ben Affleck

You'll get your money back!

Steve Buscemi

Chewy? Have you even seen Star Wars?

Owen Wilson

No, we don't have a back up plan. This is it.

Billy Bob Thornton

Is this good, or bad?

Peter Stormare

Have you lost your mind?

Bruce Willis

You-you're the guys that think this shit up! I'm sure you got a team of men sitt...

Bruce Willis

Hey, Rock. Knock it off.

Bruce Willis

Is this supposed to be like this?

Ben Affleck

Thanks alot, appreciate it.

Ben Affleck

Here's Harry giving me a hard time. And, uh, this is Harry tellin' me it's not g...

Ben Affleck

Well, our object collison budget's a million dollars. That allows us to track ab...

Billy Bob Thornton

There's too much debris, we gotta peel off!

Anthony Guidera

This is Dr. Ronald Quincy from Research. Pretty much the smartest man on the pla...

Billy Bob Thornton

I ain't gonna kill him. I'm just gonna take a foot off of him. A man can work wi...

Bruce Willis

Why don't we just send up a hundred and fifty nuclear warheads and blast that ro...

Keith David

You wanna compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big dea...

Steve Buscemi

I have repeatedly asked you to call me dad.

Jeff Daniels

I-I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker.

Ben Affleck

Listen, that NASA computer is just playin' it safe. The machine you built - the ...

Ben Affleck

This is space! Course, we're just in the beginning part of space, we-we haven't ...

Owen Wilson

You have not told them yet. That is my father up there!

Liv Tyler

So we have these new generation suits. With directional accelerant thrusters. Yo...

Jessica Steen

Hey, Mr. Clean.

Edward Herrmann

What's up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?

Eric Allan Kramer

Just tell Grace that, uh, that I'll always be with her. Okay? Can you do that?

Ben Affleck

Freddy, you all right?

Will Patton

Well it's about time, I haven't thrown up in about an hour.

Steve Buscemi

He's got space dementia.

William Fichtner

Mr. Chappell, you're next

Ellen Cleghorne

But I can't do it alone, Colonel. I need your help.

Bruce Willis

Now let's keep the laughter to a minimum. I know this is not to scale. Both shut...

Billy Bob Thornton

A piece of rock just 6 miles wide changed all that.

Rex Allen Jr.

What are you doing here?

Andrea Savage

We're staying, we're going, we're staying, we're going, make up your mind!

Steve Buscemi

That man's not a salesman. That's your daddy.

Andrea Savage

If you had like little animal cracker Discovery Channel thing watch the gazelle ...

Ben Affleck

What's your contingency plan?

Bruce Willis

Some of these guys are pretty big.

Jeff Daniels

Okay, Cyclops Lady's starting to bug me.

Steve Buscemi

How long you work for me?

Bruce Willis

I tell you one thing that really drives me nuts, is people who think that Jethro...

Owen Wilson

I love you too.

Liv Tyler

Tell me you never let anybody down.

Billy Bob Thornton

Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the coyote sat his ass down in a ...

Steve Buscemi

Good luck, Freedom.

Marshall R. Teague

Now I'm really a Russian hero!

Peter Stormare

We have a national security matter.

Faisal Hassan

Just wanted to feel the power between my legs, brother.

Steve Buscemi

You are SO messin' with national security right now, man! You are FIRED tomorrow...

Steve Buscemi

If I wasn't a Christian, I'd be throwing your fat, pinaple eatin' ass through th...

Eddie Griffin

Nah, this feels like a hundred grand to me.

Steve Buscemi

God, I hate knowing everything.

Steve Buscemi

Yes-yes that's right, that's right.

Billy Bob Thornton

White, House. White House.

Eric Allan Kramer

Who's that for? Mr. Ed? You stick that thing in me, I'm gonna stab you in the he...

Edward Herrmann

He's the only one in your age bracket, Grace. It's not a choice, it's a lack of ...

Bruce Willis

What is the deal? Is it just me, or is Watts really hot?

Owen Wilson

What does that mean?

Steve Buscemi

Ok, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be l...

Owen Wilson

Welcome back, Cowboy.

Billy Bob Thornton

This is turning into a surrealistic nightmare!

Will Patton

Lev, why don't you just do humanity a favor and just shut the hell up?

Ben Affleck

It means we've got a busted ship.

William Fichtner

Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like t...

Steve Buscemi

Don't touch my uncle! You know? He's a genius of my family.

Peter Stormare

Was I talkin' to you?

Keith David

When do we start training for THAT?

Steve Buscemi

Hey, you guys wouldn't happen to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?

Bruce Willis

Well, you tell the president that he better fire his so-called advisors! And if ...

Billy Bob Thornton

It's my turn now.

Bruce Willis

You know what I was thinkin'?

Ben Affleck

Thought you said you couldn't trust him.

Liv Tyler

I ain't drawin' against you, Harry.

Will Patton

The gauges will not read; they're all peaked like we're plugged into some magnet...

Jessica Steen

This one looks like you...with breasts.

Steve Buscemi

You know what, I do not have much pleasure being near God's ear, but you think t...

Peter Stormare

All right. All right.

Jeff Daniels

Just tryin' to have some fun before I died!

Steve Buscemi

It's not too bad. It's kinda tingly.

Edward Herrmann

Just for the record, this is a very bad idea!

Eric Allan Kramer

Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on.

Jeff Daniels

I can do it!

Steve Buscemi

Harry, I love you! Don't Harry! Wait a minute! Harry, no!

Ben Affleck

This is the Earth, at a time when the dinosaurs roamed a lush and fertile planet...

Rex Allen Jr.

We're in segment 202, lateral grid 9, site 15H32 - give or take a few yards. Cap...

Steve Buscemi

It's a matter of urgent national security. I need you to get on that chopper rig...

Armageddon

Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance.

Eric Allan Kramer

They'll do it. They've made a few requests though.

Bruce Willis

Guess I can't let you go up there alone.

Clark Heathcliffe Brolly

Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?

Ben Affleck

A home run! The Cubs win the World Series! Ah!

Edward Herrmann

Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right?

Peter Stormare

Come on, God, just a little help. It's all I'm asking.

Bruce Willis

It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys d...

William Fichtner

But they haven't drilled the damn hole yet!

Billy Bob Thornton

It's all right, relax. It's about me.

Bruce Willis

Who is Jethro Tull?

Paul Mazursky

'Fraid I dont know Crazy Willie, sir. I'm dead serious about this.

Armageddon

Great, I got that excited/scared feeling. Like 98% excited 2% scared. Or maybe i...

Owen Wilson

That man's a salesman. Would you go inside? Thank you.

Andrea Savage

No, I don't. My crew was doin' the right thing.

Ben Affleck

Ho-ho. I ju- No I-I told her how to use it. I didn't show her, Harry.

Steve Buscemi

Um, Bear would like to stay at the...

Bruce Willis

Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking.

Will Patton

I was doing that guy from that movie, you know, Slim Pickens, where he rides it ...

Steve Buscemi

Yo, Harry, you the man.

Eric Allan Kramer

OK gentleman, you're our warriors up there. God be with you. You're already hero...

Billy Bob Thornton

I never told anybody this before, but I hate flyin'. So it would be an awful sha...

Will Patton

All right then. We go.

Bruce Willis

You can't come around like this. The court says you can't. It confuses him.

Andrea Savage

We got robbery, assault, arrest, resisting arrest. We got a collection agent for...

Keith David

I say we all stay and die.

Steve Buscemi

Hi Gracey. Hi honey. Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home.

Liv Tyler

Woman with large breasts...woman with medium breasts...

Steve Buscemi

I am not crazy! I'm just a little emotional right now, ok? Ya'll throwing all th...

Eric Allan Kramer

This is one order you shouldn't follow and you fucking know it!

Billy Bob Thornton

I'm giving you this for 60%, I hope you know what you're doing, because I'll bus...

Vic Manni

I was just passing by on the, uh, I came...

Will Patton

You take care of yourself.

Bruce Willis

And the ones this morning?

Keith David

Then let's turn this bomb off.

William Fichtner

Just gimme this thing.

Will Patton

If you're trying to make me feel better about this scenario, give it up.

Keith David

Well, I can't live with that sort of thing.

Will Patton

I know it baby. But there won't be anything to be scared of soon. Gracey, I want...

Bruce Willis

That's easy for you to say. I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spen...

Steve Buscemi

You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg.

Ben Affleck

So you drill, you drop the nuke, and you leave. Now, here's the key: you're gonn...

Billy Bob Thornton

and set it off. Your wife's gonna be opening your ketchup bottles the rest of yo...

Jason Isaacs

Quincy! Somebody tell me what this is. Plastic ice cream scoop? What'd that cost...

Bruce Willis

I think we're close enough, He might have heard ya.

Edward Herrmann

Well this one's used on horses.

John Aylward

Gotta go now honey.

Bruce Willis

Oh, we at war! Saddam Hussein is bombing us!

Mark Curry

Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it.

Jeff Daniels

And this is the best that you c - that the-the government, the U.S. government c...

Bruce Willis

Wow. Got a great view of the Earth from here. Too bad we'll never set foot on he...

Steve Buscemi

Who the hell do you think you guys are? You're hoggin' all the action.

Jim Maniaci

I never quit yet...

Bruce Willis

I lied to you too. When I told you I didn't want to be like you. Because I am li...

Liv Tyler

Harry'll do it. I know it. He doesn't know how to fail.

Ben Affleck

How the hell do you know that?

William Fichtner

You wanna go home? Is that it? You wanna be fired?

Bruce Willis

Uh, Harry wanted you to have this.

Ben Affleck

Harry, this is illegal man.

Steve Buscemi

Independence, try to maintain your current heading, you have a target LZ.

Chris Ellis

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