Movie Quotes for Analyze This

"Well, I didn’t ask to see his Mafia decoder ring, but yes."

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Character:

"Hey, people get depressed, they jump. But that ain’t my fault."

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Character:

"Hey, Paul."

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Actor:

Character:

"Ah fuck Freud. After what you just told me, you know, I’m afraid to call my own mother on the phone!"

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"Are you having marriage problems?"

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Actor:

Character:

"Times are changing. You’ve got to change with the times."

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"Was that really Paul Vitti?"

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"Well, what I think you should do…is stop whining about this pathetic loser."

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"I know, that’s the word on the street. Barnes is okay, but that Noble is a vindictive prick."

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"That’s it! Over! I’m no longer your doctor!"

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"No, Doc. That one’s mine. You got the ’72 Chevy, and the Amana side-by-side refrigerator-freezer."

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"You’re Paul Vitti. The Mobster"

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"Get a dictionary. Find out what this closure thing is. If that’s what he’s going to hit us with I want to be ready."

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"Call the Vatican. See if something is missing."

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"What do you think I should do?"

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Actor:

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"I don’t know what your talking about."

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"I do things with her I can’t do with my wife."

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"You don’t hear the word no a lot do you?"

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"A half a sandwich."

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"Well, that’s something I never thought I’d hear another man say to me."

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"I’m just trying to, tell you about my feelings and that I’m angry, and that anger is a blocked wish. And I’m looking forward to seeing you next week at that thing. Then i can unblock that angered wish and then hopefully, hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker ill fucking cut your fucking balls off ill shove them up your fucking ass, ill fucking bury you, ill put ice picks in your eyes, ill chop your fucking eyeballs, ill send them to your fucking family so they can eat them for dessert. You understand me?"

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"I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times…"

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"Hey, that’s the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?"

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"I couldn’t get it up last night."

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"Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn’t he?"

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"We wanna be there, but I’ve got three book signings next weekend. I can’t piss off these big bookstores! If I cancel, they stick me down on the bottom shelves. That’s the way they are."

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"I’m gonna get a bite to eat. You wanna sandwich or somethin’?"

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"It was going great until the, cutting off of the balls and shoving it up his, ass. You know what i do when I’m mad? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow. See how you feel"

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Actor:

Character:

"What? ‘Cause of this?"

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Actor:

Character:

"You broke my heart, Jelly, you broke my heart."

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Actor:

Character:

"I am redefining weird on an hourly basis."

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Actor:

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"You see my picture in the paper?"

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"Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother."

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"You think those whales piss in that water?"

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"This is impossible. This is you: Doc I’m in pain you gotta help me. Okay Paul I’ll help you. Fuck you! Nobody helps Paul Viti!"

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"Dr. Sobel, Mam. I’m Agent Steadman, Agent Ricci, Agent Provano, Federal Bureau Of Investigation, OCD."

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"I can feel the juices rushing back to my balls as we speak."

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"Don’t kid yourself, Jelly, it doesn’t get more personal."

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"I’m a psychiatrist. Believe me, I can be vague."

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"Hey, that’s good, Doc."

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"I was Fredo? I don’t think so."

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"Why can’t you do them with your wife?"

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"I’m very angry. I’m feeling very angry about that. I’m enraged. I’m feeling very, very mad about that."

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"You know, you can take a pill for that."

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"You’re turning me down?"

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"J-Jelly? Did I do that?"

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"Dad has a patient who thinks he shits trout."

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"But the black milk dream is also about your father."

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"There’s your fuckin’ pillow."

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"You get a dictionary and find out what this closure is. If that’s what hes going to hit us with i want to know what it is"

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"My wife wakes me up, it’s the middle of the night, the baby’s crying. I go to the refrigerator to get a bottle of milk, and the milk is black."

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"I don’t know, he probably left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?"

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"Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine, well they’re trying to do that to me now. And I’m having a lot of feelings about that. And I’m trying to get some closure on that."

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Character:

"No, I think they use the men’s room next to the Burger King."

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"Dad, you’re not coming to my wedding?"

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"Well, I hear it all the time, only it’s more like no please no!"

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"Well, you said you were fighting. You were rebelling against his authority. There may have been some unresolved Oedipal conflict."

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"Organized Crime Division. We need to talk."

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"Oh, so you’re telling me it was suicide?"

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"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?"

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"Oh, and let me guess what it says? Life is bullshit I can’t fucking take it no more! Signed the Dead Guy."

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"You mean sexually?"

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Actor:

Character:

"That’s very good, here’s you"

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"You are a tragedy queen! Oh Steve doesn’t like me! Steve doesn’t respect me! Oh who gives a shit? GET A FUCKIN’ LIFE!"

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"Let me get this straight: you flew all the way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in the middle of the night just because you couldn’t get an erection?"

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"So why are you telling me?"

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"What, that you’re a scary guy? Believe me, I get it."

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"Sorry, Doc. Nothing personal."

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"Hey why don’t you look over that way before I bust you in your fuckin’ head."

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"Fuck you."

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"You, with your schmucky little office in your schmucky little home, you’re turning me down? For what, so you can go back and listen to housewives piss and moan about how nobody fucks ‘em right anymore?"

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"What happened with your wife last night?"

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Actor:

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"What kind of sandwich ain’t too fattening?"

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"Hey, they were trying to make a point."

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"No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the fuck’s the matter with you?"

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"They threw me in the shark tank, Paul! The shark tank!"

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"No, I’m not, I’m just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?"

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"1957 was a big year. The Russians put that Sputnik into outer space, the Dodgers played their last game at Ebbets Field to say goodbye to Brooklyn, that guy shot Frank Costello in the head, and missed, and the Gallo brothers whacked Albert Anastasia in the barber shop of the Sheraton View hotel. It was total chaos. With Anastasia out of the way, Vito Genovese figures he’s the big boss. But Carlo Gambino and Joe Bananas, they had other ideas. So they called a meeting. A big meeting."

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"Now is that polite? Is that nice? I’m tryin’ to be nice over here. Do I go up to you and say, Hey you’re so-and-so the Hard-On?"

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"Feel better?"

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"Yeah, I do."

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"Well, maybe not to you, look at you. But if I can’t get it up, that makes me less of a man, and I can’t have that. In my world I deal with animals, Doctor. They may seem dumb to an educated guy like you, but make no mistake, Doctor, animals are very cunning, and they sense weakness."

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"I wasn’t really gonna whack you."

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"You know normally a patient wouldn’t have a vat of Scotch during a session."

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"And hopefully, hopefully…if you make one more move on me, you motherfucker, I’ll fuckin’ cut your fuckin’ balls off and shove ‘em up your fuckin’ ass. I’ll fuckin’ bury you! I’m gonna stick ice picks in your eyes and send ‘em to your family so they can eat them for dessert!"

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"Why am i telling you? Like you don’t know nothing about it? You don’t know nothing? What?"

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"Nah, I don’t buy that. In the dream, I’m bringing the baby the black milk."

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"…eight times, is not catastrophic."

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"Then why do you have a girlfriend?"

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"I wasn’t with my wife, I was with my girlfriend."

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"Don’t that prove I’m motivated?"

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"Fuck Freud."

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"But let’s just say that you are the baby. Freud believed you’re everyone in your dreams."

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"What kind of feelings?"

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"Paul, you have to channel all this nice grief into a murderous rage."

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"Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can’t work miracles, Mr. Viti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don’t have time for your BULLSHIT!…That got away from me at the end there."

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"You should get more roughage in your diet, Doc. A bran muffin in the morning would help that…"

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"Uh no, but they will in a minute."

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"Oh thats interesting. How does that feel to you? Anger is a blocked wish. Boo fuckin’ hoo hoo."

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"Because of this little DOUBLE HOMICIDE? YES!"

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"Fuckin’ Greeks."

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"The other day, I was watching a commercial with a kid playing with a couple of puppies, I cried for forty five minutes! You slap a pair of tits on me, I’m a woman!"

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"Doc, if you gotta talk, try to be vague. Can you do that?"

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"You know what I do when I’m angry? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel."

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"My name is Ben Sobel…-lioni. Ben Sobellioni. I’m also known as, uh, Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnazz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine."

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"If I talk to you, and you turn me into a fag…im gonna kill you , you understand?"

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"Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn’t take! I’m still fucked up! You did fucking NOTHING for me!"

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"What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?"

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"What, am I supposed to get a fuckin’ website?"

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"I don’t even get the paper."

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"Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it."

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"Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing you know you’re putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should be achieved legitimately or it shouldn’t be achieved at all."

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"I’d like to see a movie, but it’s nothing but this shoot-em-up action bullshit. I get enough of that at work."

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"When I got into family therapy, this was not the family I had in mind."

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"What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster?"

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