Movie Quotes for America’s Sweethearts

"Kiki! Kiki! I don’t know where that girl is."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Everyone hates me, everyone wants a piece of me. My therapist is out of the country, I wasn’t nominated for a Golden Globe this year! Leave me alone!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I will kick your ass! Okay? Understand that!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I bet you’ve never read a book in your life."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He wants to go second."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’ll kill him! That sick son-of-a-bitch bastard! Put him on the speaker!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Hi, can I get Holly Golightly’s room please?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You know what? For that matter, I’m an idiot, too! In that respect, we’re actually quite perfect for each other."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"And you, you moron! The only reason she’s here, besides trying to salvage her precious career, is to serve you with divorce papers. There, I’ve said it. I’ve done all I can do here, I’m going for a walk because that’s, you know…leaving is just something that I’ve really perfected. And so, once more, with feeling."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Who am I? I am de ass kicker of you!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I blew it. I lost her."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He can go second. No, wait a minute. He should go first. I don’t want to look like his opening act. I want to go second."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He tried to kill me, Lee. Am I the only person who remembers that? Attempted murder doesn’t get people’s attention anymore?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Hi, Hal! How are you, darling? You’re in my thoughts. I want to send you a basket."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"No! No, she is lying!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Yes, I do! I’m going first!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You slept with her?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t know what it means, it’s very old."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Okay, Siegfried and Roy just left the building. They’re heading for the pool deck."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You really need to go to this junket."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What? I’m not invited to the hunket?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Because you’re an idiot!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’m just trying to facilitate the…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, I have one theory…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Good morning. How do you feel?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Ooh! This is good! Hit him! Hit him!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Gwen, um…hi. I used to be a big fan, but…I’m sorry, I just can’t get over what happened between you and Eddie. I’m so sick over it. I can’t sleep at night. How can you?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Love is a bridge built between two people. We want what exists between them to be real. My name is Hal Weidmann. The film you are about to see is Time Over Time, or is it? The details are unimportant. Simply put, the script was shit. I tossed it. I instead decided to let the camera capture real life. I filmed my actors without their knowledge. I let the camera run after takes. I placed hidden cameras around the set. The end result is a story far more involving than anything manufactured by actors and writers. This is real life. The juice. The stink. The glory."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"No! There’s only been one genius in this business, and that was Seor Wences! A little lipstick, some hair, and his hand, and the guy had a career for eighty-five years! S’aright!."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Lee, you know, I love you. You know, I’d do anything for you. You’re just asking an awful lot…Well, a press junket with Eddie isn’t high on Gwen’s list of priorities…Oh, no lillies. Take them out…Yes. I understand…Yes, excuse me, hold on…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s just not fair. There’s all this pressure on me, and none whatsoever on Eddie, is there? He’s probably all Summer having the time of his life."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Is this a scene from their new movie, Time Over Time? No. That’s Gwen Harrison and Eddie Thomas dancing in the moonlight for real. Hard to believe that America’s Sweethearts are like we never thought we’d see them again…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What the hell is going on?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh, yeah. I mean, it won’t help the initial release, but it’ll rent like crazy when it goes to video. We can do a box like a coffin, maybe wrap it in a little black ribbon."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"This is a very complicated situation…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I know."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Guy goes to his rabbi. He says, I think my wife’s trying to poison me. Rabbi says Let me talk to her. Comes back a little later and says Listen I spoke to your wife for three hours. Take the poison. You get it? You and Gwen are over."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Does this have something to do with Gwen?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Come on! It’s not always about love. Sometimes you just need to get laid."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Can I explain why I didn’t call?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Shit, he’s gonna jump!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t care about Gwen! I’m talking about Kiki."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"My quote in the yearbook was, Hey we have to talk. I was despised."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I can’t do this Lee."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Ladies and gentlemen, here they are…Eddie and Gwen, together again! America’s Sweethearts."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Remember the crazy guy in the woods?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Read from the top line Sasha."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"No, you cannot. Who’s her father?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh, my God! He’s gonna jump!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Hi, Larry. Gwen, I saw your latest movie."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh, and Hector is very well-endowed."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Can I defend my father’s work?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Just…I want to talk!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh Kiki my butter has touched another food. I need new butter. Anything you want honey. That’s the way it goes Lee. Right? You’re a publicist you know. Anything they want right? She’s got a green dress. Looks like crap on her. Brings out the circles under her eyes she knows it I know it. She gave it to me. It actually looks pretty nice on me. Then she said well maybe she wanted it back you know? She doesn’t want it she just doesn’t want me to have it. That’s the truth."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t care! I don’t care! Why is this an issue?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Let me think about how I answer that? Um, not…you know…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You know what? I need an assistant, because if I had an assistant, she would be outside right now MILKING A COW and I would never, EVER, run out of butter!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What are you…? What is that?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Maybe I can get him to commit suicide. Would you like that?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Don’t worry. I know somebody."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Here are your eggs, my darling sister! I hope that’s runny enough for you."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I am grateful for you. In all the world, thing I am most grateful for is you."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Are you seeing anybody?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Siegfried and Roy are here?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Yeah, the Unabomber. Okay? Remember how he lived in that little cabin?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Who, the guy at Fox?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s him. On the phone."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"We have a saying, Edward: Meck-a-leck-a-hala-vabeem-sala-beem."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"How will you get Eddy and Gwen there?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"She lost sixty pounds."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Will you please go talk to your sister? You’re the only one she’ll pretend to listen to."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Ha! I read all four of the Harry Potter books!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Okay. We’ll try the letter some other time."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"She gave it to me."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well…maybe like this."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, you do sleep next to a very handsome young Spanish gentleman, do you not?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Did you cut this yourself?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Actually, it’s a gun."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Yeah, but you got twenty or thirty pounds of food to break your fall. What the hell happened?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Ooh, yeah. No, that’s good. No, no, wait…imagine if he killed himself at the premiere."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Do me a favor. Don’t tell anyone you’re in the movie business."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"No, that one’s mine."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I smell smoke. Is somebody smoking?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Life is a cookie."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Yes, I do. I do love you. I love that beautiful, bright, sexy woman up on the screen…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You know what this is? This is high school all over again. Nothing has changed. You wanted to break up with one of your boyfriends, did you do it? No! You made me do it."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I said I was going to give him the divorce papers."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Gwen, your dog just swallowed your window washer."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He said not technically."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"And I gave it to her."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"So, do you want to arrive first or second?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You’re going second. Eddie? You’re going second."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Yeah, I feel something along those lines. Good, weird. Weird, good."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Is that Pussy Boy?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t care! Can we just get to the hotel?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Don’t let me interrupt."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"If only. The dog."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I know everyone does it! That’s not the point!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Rule number two: Don’t take credit until someone actually says they like what you did. It’s not bad."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"She doesn’t! She lives with someone else!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Look at you. What did you do? Is it your hair? What is it?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison: America’s Sweethearts."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Hey! Come on, these are new pants. Good dog. Hey, get the paper? Come on. Come on. Please. Come on."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Is that your foot?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Your pillow’s better than mine."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"America first fell in love with Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison in the box office smash Autumn With Greg And Peg. They had the most celebrated marriage in Hollywood. Who could forget how they hit one out of the park in Requiem for an Outfielder?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Fine, let her come second. I don’t care. Let her come behind me. That way she’ll be able to see the knife she stuck in my back."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Survival rule number three, kid: You’re not here to love anyone. You’re here to promote a movie. That’s it. Period. Say you’re here and you get word that your mother died. You know, like, hit by a bus or something. You go downstairs, you shed a tear, and you say, It’s a shame. She would have loved this movie."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"See? He loves me."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s a movie, a great movie. Hepburn."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You know the expression, falling off the wagon Lee? This is what it looks like."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I was thinking about eating that breadstick."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s my hair, and, err…I had a little sun."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"If you would have asked me a couple of hours ago, I would have said no. But something happened tonight that was really incredible. I was out walking by the cottages, and it was like Gwen was drawing me to her. And I just look over this wall, and there she was. She was standing by the pool, all dressed in white, like an angel in the desert. I thought to myself: That’s why you’re here. You’re supposed to win her back. No way she’s gonna stay with Hector. I mean there’s no way. That’s the woman I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What are they, out of butter? How can you run out of butter."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t want to talk to you!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He’s a dead man. No, I’m serious. I know a guy, I’ll make a call, and…he’s dead."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Me too. What were you thinking about?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Puppy? It’s a raptor."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’m thorry, it wath the thudio’th dethithion."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I hate Larry King! Why did I do his stupid show?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I spent eighty-six million dollars of the studio’s money on twenty seconds of titles. That’s all he sent me, the TITLES! And a note: Dave we could also do these in blue. We HAD to make a Hal Weidmann picture!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Let’s go to our next call. Rock Island, Illinois, hello."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I see that. Yeah. You look terrific."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Eddie, Eddie, are you okay?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"So, what you’re really worried about is you."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"This is Kishtonga Root!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I slept with him."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Gwen, everybody does it."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What does that mean?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You’re going second."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Second? We’re all set."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I tried to walk away, but the guy just kept pushing. So I hit him in the tray with my face."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, at least let me defend Hector. I only slept with him once, but I know his penis is bigger than a roll of quarters."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t care! I don’t care! I don’t care! I don’t care!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Bad morning. Preceded by thirty three bad years."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’m always thinking about other people."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Okay, yes, I did it on my Mac."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What the hell is wrong with you, Kiki?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Let go of me!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I know."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I know you are."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"And…And…And I lost a little weight."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What is that? Bean salad?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Eddie is not demented. It was a one-time incident. This is a forgive-and-forget kind of thing."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Yeah, the girl I used to make movies with. But that’s not the real you. That’s you pretending to be real, which you’re really good at. So when I’m with you in real life, I think I’m going to be with the real you, but I’m not. I’m with the real you that’s with me right now, not the real you from the movies, and I don’t want to be with…you."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Are you okay now?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, Lee, I have to say, you have completely outdone yourself. In twenty-four hours, you’ve given us a walk in the woods, a romantic dinner, and a fist fight. I can’t wait to see what happens next!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh, you are funny! How do you live with him, Gwen?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"If that’s a line from one of your movies…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"She gets a cottage and I get the shitty little suite?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh yes, they do. I was in a store the other day, you know that great store on Melrose? And there was a baby in a stroller and he was looking up at me and he was judging me. The whole world is judging me for what I did to Eddie."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’m with Gwen now. We’re a couple. So we’re gonna go to the hhhunket together."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"She has an entourage."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"They liked the movie. The press actually liked this crazy movie. They’re calling it the Blair Bitch Project."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Just smile and shut up."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"That woman that you saw by the pool the other night…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Let him go second."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s Gwen’s code name. It’s from Breakfast at Tiffany’s."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Are you comfortable speaking about Gwen?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s probably Larry. How many heart attacks has he had?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s awful when you’re the only person who cares about other people’s feelings. If they see Eddie and he’s down and depressed, they’re going to pity him and blame me."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Hector? Are you in love with him?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I just couldn’t sit through it. I can’t watch you without Eddie. It’s just not the same."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"That’s not true. The lighting was great. Everyone said you looked great."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"No, that woman that you just have to spend the rest of your life with…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"And if you’re in love, you should just go for it…The way you went for this breakfast."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"It’s not really mine."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Come on, you’ve gotta confront her. Get it over with. She fell in love with another guy, alright? It happens."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Let’s go. Please. Please, make my day."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"As if she really knows."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"People have no idea what it’s like being me. Did we brush my teeth?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t want to breathe! Your last two movies crashed and burned…I wanted to choke him to death with those stupid suspenders. Everyone hates me."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"This letter, Edward, is a very important part of the healing process. By writing to your mother, you afford yourself the opportunity to thank her, or forgive her, or to ask her why she did the things she did. Now we don’t mail the letter, but the simple act of putting it on paper frees you, allows you to let go. Now…what did you say to your mother?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Thank you."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"What are you thinking right now?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Could you please put that out? Please, please, please. Could you please put that out. Please, please."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"That’s a nice necklace."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Here are your eggs, there you go!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, let me uncomplicate it for you, huh? Forget about what happened between us, Eddie. It’s not going to work, all right? I mean, last night…last night was great. But then she calls you this morning and you just cannot wait to get out the door to get to her! What is that? It’s just not going to work, ’cause you will probably always be thinking about her, and I will probably always be wondering if you were thinking about her. I just…I just need you to know one thing."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He was outside my cottage doing something…not good!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"A lot, actually, and you know, I cannot believe that it’s taken me this long to figure it out. And…and…and I’m going to go for a long walk now just to simmer down. But before I do, I would just like to cut through the bullshit. You see, sister, the reason why he’s not technically seeing anyone is because he’s still technically hung up on you."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, that’s fascinating. Not technically…hmm…That’s…uh…that’s sad really. That’s…uh…that’s a shame."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Really? The…The…The woman by the pool?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"You have an entourage?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Time for Prozac. Excuse me."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Oh, please! Let’s just refresh your memory. Robert Mancuta? Kyle Hassler? Toby Franks? Half the lacrosse team? Ring any bells? Huh? By the end of the year, I was the most hated girl in school."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I don’t give a shit!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Eddie, the next time you try to kill yourself, just take a hairdryer into the bathtub."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’m on pain medication that makes me say things I’d never say otherwise. To set the record perfectly straight, Eddie and I never had any plans to reconcile."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Eddie’s really good…and he’s my pillar of strength, you know. It’s like Sodom and Gomorrah"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I feel good. I mean…I feel weird, but I feel good. You?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I’m joking…I mean, I’m…thinking out loud, or whatever you call it."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"And those glasses. Who wears frames that big anymore. He looks like a bug!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Kiki? What was that movie called?"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"I need Eddy and Gwen back together again, smiling and happy!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"He’s not gonna jump."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Hal Weidmann bought that cabin from the government and had it moved onto his property. That is where he edits his movies. That is his little, twisted, sicko office."

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Kiki? Kiki-kins? Who’s smoking? I smell smoke. Is someone smoking within a six mile radius of where I’m standing! Stop them Kiki, stop them!"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

"Well, no, Chad in Marketing…"

Movie:

Actor:

Character:

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