Movie Quotes for Movie Quotes from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - MovieQuoter

Thought I left, didn’t ya?

You know what? I’m not even going to talk to you. Would you please leave.

I’m sorry sir, I was just going to say, that it’s not a fish, it’s a mammal.

You really love animals, don’t you?

Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?

Come to me my animal friends!

That’s a true Albino pigeon. Some rich guy lost it. He’s offering a $25,000 reward. As soon as I find this bird, you’re paid.

Go ahead. Snoop around!

Have you ever heard of FAN?

Why? So you can beat him?

Most likely, sir. I’ll bet it was something nice, though.

Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura…

Well? Are you satisfied?

For as long as I’ve known him.

Sure, right over there.

She expects him home any minute, see the engine’s running but there’s nobody behind the wheel. Eight years ago our son escaped from Shady Acres Mental Hospital in Tampa, and they’re still bugging us to pick up his stuff.

Whew…now I feel better. ‘Course, that might not do any good you see nobody’s missing a porpoise. It’s a dolphin that’s been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I’m sure you already knew that. That’s what turns me on about ‘cha, your attention to detail.

What the hell is he doing here?

Are you another one of those Hard Copy guys?

Your request is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger.

Excuse me sir, but do you have a mint? Perhaps some Binaca?

What the hell are you talking about?

Gee, let me think. Um sure.

My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken…if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be…then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!

Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you Sir and may I congradulate you on all your success…you smell TEREFFIC! I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at…Stanford Law…was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy, private homeowners. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice on little else. How is everyone feeling tonight?

  

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