Movie Quotes for A League of Their Own

Go to third, go to third!

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Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with that little hat on?

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I like the high ones!

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You ever been married?

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You think there are men in this country who ain’t seen your bosoms?

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Well I was just wonderin’ why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.

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What should we do – send the boys returning from WAR back to the kitchen?

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You fell out of a hotel. That’s how you hurt it.

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It’s the second time he dropped that Bible since she’s been in.

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Go to third, go to third, keep goin’, Mae!

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What do you mean some of us?

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Hey, how’d you do that?

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Well, let me think…yeah, twice.

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You stink, you’re lousy, you’re only the best player in the league.

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Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan.

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You know, I really thought you were a ballplayer.

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If we paid you a little bit more, Jimmy, do you think you could be just a little more disgusting?

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Well, there was a fire.

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Stilwell Angel? Oh it’s good to see you again. Where’s your mom?

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How good am I?

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Why don’t you give her a break, Jimmy…

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The way you were pitching, Stilwell could have hit off you.

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I know my girl ain’t so pretty as these girls, but that’s my fault. I raised her like I would a boy. I didn’t know any better. She loves to play. Don’t make my little girl suffer because I messed up raising her. Please.

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What’s your rush, dollbody? What do you say we slip in the back seat, and make a man out of me?

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Uh, Lord, hallowed be Thy name. May our feet be swift; may our bats be mighty; may our balls…be plentiful. Lord, I’d just like to thank You for that waitress in South Bend. You know who she is – she kept calling Your name. And God, these are good girls, and they work hard. Just help them see it all the way through. Okay, that’s it.

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Hey, where did you come from?

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Well, you were wrong.

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Perhaps you chastised her too vehemently. Good rule of thumb: treat each of these girls as you would treat your mother.

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Ah, no. You know, I’m married…

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I don’t plan on wearing it that long.

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That was clear inside. That was clear inside…

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It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard…is what makes it great.

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Well, that is blunt. Ahem. No sir, I’ve, uh, quit drinking.

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Mae. What are you giving her to read?

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Keep goin’, Mae, all the way!

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Which you started, which I had to pay for.

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I, I gave away five years at the end my career to drink. Five years. And now there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give to get back any one day of it.

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Yeah. It is only a game, Jimmy. It’s only a game, and, and, I don’t need this. I have Bob; I don’t need this. At all.

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Well, I’m a Peach.

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You know, if I had your job, I’d kill myself! Wait here, I’ll see if I can dig up a pistol.

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Ow. Doesn’t that hurt them?

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My train leaves at eight o’clock, I’ve got ten minutes to pack.

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You’ve seen the error of your ways.

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Has anybody seen my new red hat?

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Okay, let’s make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies.

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Well, bite my butt and call me an apple! She nearly took her head off!

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Mae. What did you say?

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Hey, what are you going to do about Ms. Cuthbert? How are you going to get past her?

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It just got too hard.

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Batter up, hear that call. The time has come for one & all…To play ball. We are the members of the All American League. We come from cities near & far. We have got Canadians, Irish ones & Swedes. We are all for one, we are one for all, we are all American. Each girl stands, her head so proudly high. Her motto Do or Die. She is not the one to use or need an alibi. Our chaperones are not too soft they are not too tough. Our managers are on the ball. We have got a president who really knows his stuff. We are all for one we are one for all we are all American.

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It was made very clear to me what I’m supposed to do here. I smile, wave my little hat…I did that, so when do I get paid?

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No, Bob and I are driving home. To Oregon.

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Shit, Dottie, if you want to go back to Oregon and make a hundred babies, great, I’m in no position to tell anyone how to live. But sneaking out like this, quitting, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Baseball is what gets inside you. It’s what lights you up, you can’t deny that.

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Well, we got as far as Yellowstone Park…then we turned back.

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Then why are you still here?

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What do you suggest?

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This will be better than a movie!

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Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

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I can’t. I don’t have a name on the checklist.

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You go out, wave your cap, give the people a thrill.

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This is what it’s going to be like in the factories, too, I suppose, isn’t it? The men are back Rosie turn in your rivets. We told them it was their patriotic duty to get out of the kitchen and go to work; and now when the men come back we’ll send them back to the kitchen.

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Where are you going?

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Yeah! NO. And do you know why?

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Ballplayers. I don’t have ballplayers, I’ve got girls. Girls are what you sleep with after the game, not, not what you coach during the game.

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And how about Marla Hooch. What a hitter.

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Well, if you have any trouble, you know who to blame.

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Well, it’s not exactly like that…I hurt my knee.

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Does he know how good you are?

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Evelyn. Your kid ate the line up.

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Listen, yesterday that was a ball, tomorrow it might be a ball, but today it’s a strike.

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Because there’s no crying in baseball. THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!

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Great game, Jimmy. I especially liked that move in the seventh inning when you scratched your balls for an hour.

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Now batting for the Peaches, #5, center fielder, Mae Mordabito.

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Are you coming? See, how it works is, the train moves, not the station.

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Lay off the high ones!

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Kimono, kimono. Off. And. Gr – Gra – Grabbd.

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She’s turning ’round first, she’s heading up to third. Mordabito’s heading past second!

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Hi, my name’s Mae, and that’s more than a name, that’s an attitude.

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C’mon Dottie, you ain’t on the farm any more, live a little bit!

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You’re gonna lose. You’re gonna lose. You stink.

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Alright, Mae, center field, lead off.

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You haven’t changed one bit.

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Hi. Can you read, honey?

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It don’t fit you, Mae, it’s too tight.

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Well, now, I was going to send you a thank-you card, Mr. Harvey, but I wasn’t allowed anything sharp to write with.

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Boy, did she smack that one on the kisser. No wonder they call her All the Way Mae.

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Hey, hey, hey, you guys, come on! How hard can it be to make a lineup? Come on!

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I’m a goddamn Peach!

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After the first month of league play, the shine still isn’t off these diamond gals. Alice Skeeter Gaspers says legging out a triple is no reason to let your nose get shiny – Betty Grable has nothing on these gals. Helen Haley has not only been a member of several championship amateur teams she is also an accomplished coffee maker.

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Yeah, I’m just going home, grab a shower and shave, give the wife a little pickle-tickle, and I’m on my way.

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I, uh, yeh, I, uh…I freely admit, sir, I had no right to…sell off the team’s equipment like that; that won’t happen again.

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Mom died…a few years ago.

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I think it’s how she entertains herself, Doc.

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Dirt in the skirt, Mae! Dirt in the skirt!

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Ya know they got over a hundred girls here. So some of yous are going home.

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It gets really good after that. Look. The delivery boy walks in…

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Can I help you with something?

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Girls, girls, please! Mr. Goosatelli shan’t be returning.

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All right, everyone, let’s listen up now, listen up. Hey! I don’t know what that kid is doing, but get him away from the tape! Stilwell Something important has just happened. I was in the toilet reading my contract, and it turns out, I get a bonus when we get to the World Series. So, let’s play hard, let’s play smart, use your heads.

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Then there’s pretty Dottie Henson, who plays like Gehrig, and looks like Garbo. Uh-uh, fellas, keep your mitts to yourself; she’s married. And there’s her kid sister Kit, who’s as single as they come. Enough concentrated oomph for a whole carload of Hollywood starlets.

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Wait, just give me the telegram.

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Hey, Dottie? thanks for gettin’ me into the league.

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Excuse Me! Excuse Me! I have a telegram for one of you ladies from the War Department. Let’s see here…boy, I hate these, these are the worst! The least the Army could do is send someone personally, to tell you your husband is dead. Darn, I had the name right here! Well I gotta go back and get this straightened out.

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One of them was, yeah.

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For goodness sake, Kit, keep your voice down, your father is listening to the radio.

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That was uncalled for.

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Dottie, you going to come with us?

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I’m Ernie Capadino. I’m a baseball scout. I saw you playing today. Not bad, not bad. You ever heard of Walter Harvey, makes Harvey bars – you know, the candy?

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Yeah. We feed them to the cows when they’re constipated.

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No, Hitler.

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How do I look?

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Go join your team.

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Now, Jimmy, you have some pretty good ballplayers here. You ought to give them a little bit of your…

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I could have finished.

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It’s funny to you. Your drinking is funny. You’re a young man, Jimmy: you still could be playing, if you just would’ve laid off the booze.

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Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?

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This week, on The World of sports: When the boys are overseas and off to war baseball pitches in for the war effort. Trading bats for bullets Yankees star Joe DiMaggio promises to give those Nazis a jolt. Ace fire baller Bob Feller has traded Cleveland gray for navy blue. Baseball biggest stars say: Look out Mr. Hitler the Yanks are coming not to mention the Indians Red Sox and Tigers.

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This is you! You’re with us! You’re a Rockford Peach!

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We’ll bury her, I know a guy!

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Shirley Baker…Shirley Baker…okay, let’s take a look.

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All right…what’s your name?

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Hey Mae, Mae, your date’s here.

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Well, anything worth doing is worth doing right.

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Mae! Come here! Is that her?

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Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. She was a great woman and a damn fine ball player.

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You got yourself into the league. I just got you on the train.

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Mmm-hmm. They’ll pay you 75 dollars a week.

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That’s that lump three feet above our ass, right, Jimmy?

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We only make 30 at the dairy.

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…And what am I supposed to do, huh? Go back to taxi dancin’? Ten cents so some slob can sweat gin all over me? I’m never doin’ that again! So you go back there and you tell ol’ rich Mr. Old Chocolate Man that he ain’t closing ME down!

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Have a little trouble with the bears, did ya?

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What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?

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Thanks, Mae. Milky white bre – breasts.

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She’s in there with a triple!

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I don’t know, is it?

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Well then, this would be more, wouldn’t it?

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Ohh. I don’t know why you get dressed at all.

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Evelyn. Evelyn. I’m sorry but I have to kill your son.

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She’s headed into third!

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Dottie, I married a plastic surgeon.

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Hey, Jimmy, you look like shit. Don’t you ever shave?

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And a lotta liquor!

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Careers and higher education are leading to the masculinization of women, with enormously dangerous consequences to the home, the children, and our country. When our boys come home from war, what kind of girls will they be coming home to? And now the most disgusting example of this sexual confusion: Mr. Walter Harvey of Harvey bars is presenting us with women’s baseball. Right here in Chicago, young girls plucked from their families are gathered at Harvey Field, to see which one of them can be the most masculine. Mr. Harvey, like your candy bars, you’re completely…nuts.

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Keep that kid away from me for just one game!

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Oh yeah? Well, why don’t you do it, Oregon?

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Hey, no skin off my ashtabula. You want to stay here plucking cows, that’s your business.

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I knew it, ya killed Ms. Cuthbert!

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Hey cowgirls, see the grass? Don’t eat it.

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What are you lookin’ at?

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Until you did that, I couldn’t tell if you were…drunk or dead.

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No, I just can’t afford it.

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In the forty-three years I’ve been practicing medicine, I never saw a woman throw up that much!

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Come on now, one foot in front of the other, see?

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You kind of let me down on that San Antonio job.

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…there’s a shot into right center it’s…up the alley!

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You ever hear Dad introduce us to people? This is our daughter Dottie and this is our other daughter Dottie’s sister. Should’ve just had you and bought a dog!

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Mae! Mae! Don’t use my bat! Use Marla’s. It’s heavier.

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Her. M – mi – mil – mil – milky, milky. White, white. Milky white.

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Yeah. When I heard about this, I…I felt I owed it to her to be here. She always said it was the best time she ever had in her entire life.

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Where’d you get that dress?

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If your knees are up for it, go ahead.

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C’mon, no hitter, no hitter!

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Mae’s going to poison her dinner.

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Can we just hold each other for the rest of our lives?

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A lot of night games.

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Oh, what the difference does it make? She’s reading, okay? That’s the important thing. Now go away, go, shoo, shoo. Go ahead, Shirley, you’re doing good.

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What did you do to her?

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Take me home momma and put me to bed. I have seen enough to know I have seen too much.

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Taking a little day trip?

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Hi Dottie. Remember me? You’re gonna lose!

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OK, some of them are going home.

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Nothin’, we just gave her a dress.

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I’m so sick of being blamed for every thing that’s bothering you. I got you into this league, God damnit! I didn’t even want to be here.

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Hey, that’s good advice!

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Why don’t you get an organ grinder, I could do a little dance.

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Well, I could certainly use the money.

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We’re gonna win…We’re gonna win!

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Hey, this is official. This is from the War Department! C’mon, that’s official business! I’m coming back!

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I singin’ to Nelson, ain’t I baby?

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Can’t we do both?

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That’s the guy. He’s starting a girls’ baseball league, so he can make a buck while the boys are overseas. Wanna play?

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A road house called the Sud’s Bucket.

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Nice retort. Tryouts are in Chicago. It’s a real league, professional.

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We’re gonna win!

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Don’t run, you’ll scare the chickens.

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By the way, I loved you in the Wizard of Oz.

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It was an important game; it got us into the playoffs.

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Are you crying? There’s no crying in baseball!

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Oh piss on your hat.

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Let me be blunt. Are you still a fall-down drunk?

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What do you say I smack you around for a while?

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Well, it would bruise the hell out of me.

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