Movie Quotes for A Fish Called Wanda

Get me my drink.

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I used to kill for the CIA.

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Winners, like North Vietnam?

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No I have to finish my hair!

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Fuck off, pigs.

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Relax. I heard moaning; I was worried.

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Well, if you absolutely insist…

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And he’s going to be very pleased with me to find you here, all tied up and ready for the police!

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He just happens to be a very good friend of mine!

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You must be j-j-j…

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The central message of Buddhism is not every man for himself.

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What are you doing?

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I’m here because I’m bored. Bored hanging around this God-awful city. Shoving George’s ugly pic…Talking to a lot of snotty, stuck up, intellectual British faggots. Jesus they’re uptight they get rigor mortis in the prime of life in this country, standing there with their hair clenched.

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Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don’t sh-sh-sh-sh

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I don’t know. Let’s just see what happens.

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I’m sorry! I’m sorry. Uh…uh…yeah.

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What have you found out?

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Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not every man for himself and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes Otto. I looked them up.

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Did you hear what I said? Fuck off!

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I’m tellin’ ya baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD.

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Ok well I’m outta here!

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I’m just trying to think of one good reason why I should take you to South America with me.

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Say something in Russian.

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What about my tits?

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Jesus, I said I’m sorry! What the fu-?

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You’re really sorry.

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Have you heard from him?

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You are the vulgarian, you fuck.

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Otto! You owe me a pou-p-pou…

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Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you. How could I know it was you? I mean, how could you expect me to guess? Stupid jerk! I mean, what the fuck were you doing robbing your own house?

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My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin, and I know perfectly well that you don’t keep the general public informed when you are debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house.

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Son of a bitch!

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Aisle or window, smoking or non?

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Shit! Fucking Limey cement.

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Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.

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So…how are you going to get friendly with this lawyer?

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Otto t-t-tried to k-k-kiss me.

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When you say friendly what are we talking about here? Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What?

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It’s K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?

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And don’t call me Otto. To you I am Mr…

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I’m really really sorry, I apologise unreservedly.

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I used to box for Oxford.

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Look, you obviously don’t know anything about intelligence work, lady. It’s an X-K-Red-27 technique.

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You tell those pigs to fuck off.

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Wake up Limey fish!

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You just wanted to get me into bed.

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What are you thinking, Archie?

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I am Italian! Sono italiano in spirito. Ma ho sposato una donna che preferisce lavorare in giardino a fare l’amore appassionato. Uno sbaglio grande! But it’s such an ugly language. How about…Russian?

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So, friendly might include actual…what penetration?

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I looked at the clock…because I was saying to myself…It’s five to seven, where could he be going with that sawed off shotgun?

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Okay, fine, Ken! Come at me, give me your best shot! Go on, Ken! You don’t have the guts, admit it!

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People are always taking advantage of me.

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Wanda, do you have any idea what it’s like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone Are you married? and hearing My wife left me this morning or saying, uh, Do you have children? and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see Wanda we’ll all terrified of embarrassment. That’s why we’re so…dead. Most of my friends are dead you know we have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you’re alive God bless you and I want to be I’m so fed up with all this. I want to make love with you Wanda. I’m a good lover – at least used to be back in the early 14th century. Can we go to bed?

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Hello, Mr. Burglar! Going somewhere? Thought you could rob Mr. Leach, eh? Well, I’m going to teach you a lesson!

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Bye Wanda!

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You’re going to shoot me?

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Yes they do, Otto. They just don’t understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not Every man for himself. And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes Otto. I looked them up.

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How come you dumped me then.

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Otto! Otto! Otto!

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All right, all right, I apologise.

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Okay, you have the guts, good…wait!

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What is this? Hump a Limey week?

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We could have a lot of fun together, you and I. And I think we’d be really good for each other. What do you say?

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Nix! Zip! Diddly! Bupkis!

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I’m, uh, Harvey. Manfred…jen…sen…den.

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You take it back.

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I got the deal of a lifetime! Fifty-fifty, you and me, what do you say! Okay, okay, okay, sixty-forty! That’s my final offer!

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…he thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived.

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I was dealing with something delicate, Otto. I’m setting up a guy who’s incredibly important to us, who’s going to tell me where the loot is and if they’re going to come and arrest you. And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?

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How could a bright and smart girl like you have a brother who is so…

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How about…because I have the key to the safety deposit box?

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Archie? Do you speak Italian?

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You know your problem? You don’t like winners.

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Just, counting the seconds to the weekends so they can all dress up like ballerinas and whip themselves into a frenzy at the flat at 4. 2B St.

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Does he get to handle them?

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Ken! Ken! Wait, wait, Ken! Kenny! I…may I call you Kenny?

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Apes don’t read philosophy.

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You asshole! You stupid, stiff, pompous, English…!

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You’re a very attractive man, Ken. You’re…smart, you’ve got wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress really interestingly.

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I Wendy- I Wanda- I wonder…

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Ok…Ok…DISAPPOINTED. Son of a bitch. What do you have to do in this world to make people trust you?

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Death!

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So the old lady’s gonna m-m-m-meet with an accident eh K-K-K-K-Ken?

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You realise he’s in court tomorrow?

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Oh, my God…Oh…Oh my God. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

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I know. I know that!

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Even if you were my brother I’d still want to fuck you.

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We need to talk.

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superior, so fucking superior with those phony accents.

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May I kiss you, Ken?

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He doesn’t have a clue.

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Why on earth not?

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I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Don’t go near him, he’s mine.

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Unbe-fuck-alievable!

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I want you to know something Otto.

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Let’s make love.

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You spineless bimbo.

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I don’t know – I’ll improvise.

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So, wanna have some lunch?

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Touch his dick, and he’s dead!

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You really like animals don’t you, Ken? What’s the attraction.

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Your father has finally gone completely mental!

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Avoid the green ones. They’re not ripe yet.

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Oh, I’m so very, very, very ssssssssssss…FUCK YOU!

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No, you fucking can’t!

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To be honest I hate them. I mean pretending they’re so fucking lawyer.

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I’m sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he’s insensitive. He’s had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.

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No plans to see him?

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You can stick this marriage right in your bottom.

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Shut up and think.

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Not you Ken, you have a beautiful speaking voice…when it works.

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What was the part in the middle?

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Wait, I got an idea! You take it all! Yeah, here’s my boarding pass, Ken!

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I thought he might.

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Show off all the t-time.

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Your brother didn’t bring you here this time, did he?

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How very interesting. You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?

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Yes. That’s my forecast. I’ll stand by that.

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K-k-k-k-Ken. You bastard. Hey I’ve lost my stutter. It’s gone. I can speak. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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I wasn’t rich enough, remember.

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Get the fuck out of here, Otto.

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I fell in love with you.

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REVENGE!

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I’m gonna, I’m gonna k-ka, kill you!

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Okay, I’m-sorry-I-ate-your-fish, okay? I’m-sorry!

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You are the sexiest, most beautiful girl I have ever seen…in my entire life.

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Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?

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I love robbing the English, they’re so polite.

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Don’t call me stupid.

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Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? They were God’s second blunder.

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Oh, you English are so superior, aren’t you? Well, would you like to know what you’d be without us, the good ol’ U.S. of A. to protect you? I’ll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that’s what! So don’t call me stupid, lady. Just thank me.

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Well, you t-t-t-tell him from me that I kuh-kuh, I kuh-kuh…

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Well, thank you for popping in and protecting us.

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Hello, K-K-K-Ken’s p-p-pets!

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If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German! Singing Deutschland Deutschland

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Yep, ‘fraid so, ol’ chap! Sorry!

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Shut up. We didn’t lose Vietnam. It was a tie!

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I’ll be right back, take your clothes off.

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You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.

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I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.

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You make me feel free.

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