Movie Quotes for Axel Foley

Well, sir, you have 25 unpaid parking tickets, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why, what’s with you guys?

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You thought I was gonna really shit. I wouldn’t- Wh-what would I look like shitting in the car? I ain’t gonna shit. Don’t worry about a thing, though. I am on the job. Don’t worry about a thing. I’m on the job!

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Look, Boss, let me tell…

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I’m checking you for a wire, man.

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I don’t smoke Lucky Strikes.

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It’s the first time he’s left his desk in 12 years!

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No, but a car is a car. I drive my car every day.

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Oh, you mean the construction that’s going on. Yes, I’m very embarrassed about that. What I’m trying to do, though, is just confine myself to the other five bedrooms. I’m used to compromising my lifestyle.

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Let’s hear your side of the story.

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If he ain’t a cop, if he ain’t wired, why can’t I- why can’t I frisk him? Why can’t- Why won’t he let me frisk him, then? Then why can’t I frisk him if he ain’t got no wire on?

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Inspector T, how you doin’?

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Well, the dude is definitely bad luck. I don’t know what he is to you; he’s bad luck to me.

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Wait a second, look. I just thought, that if there was a problem-

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Have you ever sold one of these?

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Sir, we’re with the Beverly Hills Police Department. Are you Mr. Sidney Bernstein?

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Biddle! Yes, see? I- You- Two more seconds I would have said it myself. I don’t need no help from no one, because I’m Johnny Wishbone, psychic extraordinaire. And if you need me, just think Johnny Wishbone and I come running. Lutz and Biddle it’s like Kibbles n’ Bits but different.

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No, it’s just that I feel I need a little vacation, that’s all.

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Then you’re the fucking problem! Go get your supervisor, please. Now! NOW!

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Yeah, I understand. Boss. The Chief ain’t chew it all out. You still got a little ass there.

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Whachoo doin’ with all these guns man?

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Sir, do you own a Black Mercedes-Benz, License Plates number CRL-507?

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I don’t think cost is the issue here, sir. I think the issue should be my blatant disregard for proper procedure.

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Tell me, sir, what’s the charge?

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How the fuck can you steal a house? This…my uncle’s house!

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Yes, pork! It’s definitely pork. I ain’t doin’ shit around this dude, man. You wanna do business, you know where to find me. Fuck you, man. Allah ou akbar.

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What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do here?

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It’s a blue slip.

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Hey, man! Take off your glasses. I thought that was you, man! You almost got busted, I did get busted. I lost my whole investment because of you. Vinnie, what the hell is wrong with you, man? You know I’m a businessman. I got to work!

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Hey! Sound the alarm. You got a break-in!

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I sm- Do you smell it? ‘Cause I smell it.

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Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for.

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Is this your car?

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Fuck you, man!

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Y’all both look like Gerald Ford!

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I told you that’s Phil, you liar!

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You know what this stuff is used for?

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Billy, you know, you don’t have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That’s the whole object of this. Taggart’s dick is hard, but he won’t let you know ’cause he’s the boss. Boss’ dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain’t on duty so my dick can be hard.

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I know that you’re getting’ upset. And I know that you have reason to be upset. But let me tell you something, chief. I am close, I am so close now. I’m closer than I’ve been, and it-it’s makin’ me crazy. ‘Cause I can smell it, it’s in the air. And I smell it. It’s

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You definitely a cop!

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I’ll kill you.

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No, Axel Foley. Axel.

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Did you see that shit? I can describe all of em.

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Hey, what is- Wait a second.

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A little flash money.

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Gimme the key! I’m gonna follow ‘em!

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From the Dearborn Hijacking.

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Well, look. I got some vacation time comin’ to me. I wanna take my vacation now.

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Yeah, I’m gonna take this home and filter hot water through it and drink it in the morning.

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Can you cuff Mr. Bernstein, please?

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You just hit a squad car!

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Yeah, these guys are serious.

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I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while, ’cause I ordered some pizza.

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Why can’t I check ya?

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You have 25 unpaid parking tickets, sir.

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Well, sir, you have 25 unpaid parking tickets, and it’s your car. So, we have to take you in.

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That’s Dirty Harry himself! Man, what the fuck is wrong with you gonna bring him in here?

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Is your supervisor here?

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Can you go get him for me, please?

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You know, you have a very big mouth, sir! Are you hiding something from me? Is that what you’re doing? I bet you that is your Porsche that’s parked outside, isn’t it? Isn’t that your Porsche? Is it? How would you like me to have the IRS come down here and crawl up your fuckin’ ass with a microscope? ‘Cause they’ll do it! I’ve seen them do it! It’s not a pretty sight! I want you to know something, pal! And I want all of y’all to know something! I can have twenty five agents down here in fifteen minutes to march in here, snatch your bond from underneath you and you guys’ll be out of business, permanently, if I don’t get some cooperation! Is that understood?

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Are you security here?

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If something happens to her…

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My truck. Here’s $50. Put it next to a limo.

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How do you know it was a professional hit?

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Look, I heard a rumor that you’re gonna use Rand on this case, and, between the two of us, the guy doesn’t know the time of day.

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Hey, look, we’re talking about a friend of mine, here!

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Don’t you wanna hear my side of the story?

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I already have three of ‘em in my bag.

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You come inside here a half hour late, and on top of all that you gonna bring the goddamn cop with you, too?

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I smoke King-Sized Kents!

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Well, you don’t mind if I ask around a little bit, do you?

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Your tickets have not been paid, that means you’re liable.

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Way to go, Rosewood, you’re some kinda cop, you know that!

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Yo, man! What’s that for?

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You changed man!

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Get the fuck out of here!

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What kind of shit is this, man? Hold up, wait a second! You guys are arresting me for getting thrown out of a fucking window? I got thrown out of a window, man!

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Yeah, I understand, I understand the rights! I know this is bullshit, man…I got thrown out of a fucking window!

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Hey man what’s hapnin’ Phil, I new dat was you, he told me that wasn’t you, said you don’t come here no more, but I said it’s Phil! That is Philip,

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Hey Philip, gimme kiss baby! Hey

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Phil! What’s wrong man?

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What’s all the hostility Phil?

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Same crappy blue Chevy Nova.

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Oh, shit, that’s cold.

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You can’t go in ’cause you’re a cop in this town. You go in there without probable cause, they’re gonna call it an illegal search. You know that. Or didn’t they teach you that in cop school?

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The supercop story…was working. Okay? It was working, and you guys just messed it up. Okay? I’m trying to figure you guys out, but I haven’t yet. But it’s cool. You fuck up a perfectly good lie.

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This is the cleanest and nicest police car I’ve ever been in in my life. This thing’s nicer than my apartment.

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I was gonna call the article “Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World but now I think I might as well just call it Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn’t Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel ‘Cause There’s No Niggers Allowed in There!

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Tell Victor that Ramon – -the fella he met about a week ago? – -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.

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What, can the guy hear me through the wall?

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What? Y’all the second team?

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Yeah, Jenny, don’t worry about me. We got cocaine and coffee here. We’re gonna get wired and have a big party.

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And you guys believe that? What the fuck are you, cops or doormen?

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Foul-mouthed? Fuck you, man.

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Hey, man, don’t square off on me with some bullshit.

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You wanna start some static?

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‘Cause I was mindin’ my own business. Hey, where the fuck do you guys get off on arresting somebody for getting thrown out of a window?

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If you get your head out of your ass long enough”? Kiss my ass? You’re gettin’ more and more like me every day. Next thing you know you’re gonna have Afros…big dicks and all!

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Well, this is pretty sporty!

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24 hours a day I will be in the car. I will sleep, eat, drink, shit. I will- No, I ain’t gonna shit.

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I have the money and I do wanna do business, but with you. I ain’t doing nothing in front of this dude, ’cause this dude is a cop. I know when I can smell a pig inside the room. I used to be a Muslim, man. And I know that’s pork over here.

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Uh, my name is Johnny Wish-Wishbone. Johnny Wishbone. And I am a psychic from the island of St. Croix.

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Are you driving with your eyes open? Or are you, like, using the force?

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Yo man, we gotta talk, seriously. Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood? Dirty Rosewood?

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You’re not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this – Look man I ain’t fallin’ for no banana in my tailpipe! See that’s more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long.

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Can you put this in a good spot? ‘Cause all of this shit happened the last time I parked here.

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Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What’s the fuckin’ charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?

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Is this the man who…wrecked the buffet at the Harrow club this morning?

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