Movie Quotes for Armand

You’re right. I’m afraid of your heat.

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Just our dog, Piranha. We always lock her in when there’s company.

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My cemetery’s in Key Biscayne. It’s one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolling hills. The one is Los Copa’s really shit.

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How ’bout those dolphins, huh?

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Work it, own it, sell it!

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Pull yourself together! Because you have to cook dinner. And I’m going after fucking Albert.

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So what? The important thing to remember is not to go to pieces when that happens. You have to react like a man, calmly. You have to say to yourself, Albert you pierced the toast so what? It’s not the end of your life.

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Oh I see, so you’re going to a cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.

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Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin’? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!

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There are no straight maids in South Beach.

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I have two words for you: green card.

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Agador Spartacus!…He insists on being called by his full name.

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Albert, these people are right-wing conservatists. They don’t care if you’re a pig, they just care if you’re a fag!…Ah, fuck ‘em! Of course you can pass as an uncle!

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Los Copa? There’s nothing in Los Copa but a cemetery.

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Katie Archer, or is it Mrs. something?

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Take it! Take it all! What difference does it make if I say you can stay or if you say I can stay?

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Actually, it’s perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.

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What a pain in the ass you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh.

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Wish we could get Ted. Give ‘em a free round of coffee.

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Agador, you’re gonna have to get yourself a uniform and dress like a butler.

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Don’t worry about that. I’m very maternal. And Albert’s practically a breast.

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Well, you were a baby, and Miss Donovan was a small-minded idiot. I didn’t want you to get hurt.

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What is that crap you served us?

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A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens. And a man’s wealth is measured by the size of his cock.

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Louis, I swear that I…

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You look like Lucy’s stunt double.

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I know nothing of God, or the Devil. I have never seen a vision nor learned a secret that will damn or save my soul. And as far as I know, after four hundred years, I am the oldest living vampire in the world.

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Maybe, but you’ll look like a fag in a uniform.

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Oh, what’s the point? You’d be Val’s gay Uncle Al.

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Now take that wig off or I’ll tell Albert you’re wearing it.

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Oh please, look at you! Look at the way you’re holding your glass! Look at your pinky! Look at your posture!

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Yes, I’m afraid of your heat.

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What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?

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You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!…but you keep it all inside.

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Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I’m a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I’m not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don’t give a damn what he thinks.

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Don’t you want to lose it?

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Oh, God. And I thought, what the hell let’s try it once with a woman and see what those straight guys are raving about.

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So why the hell did they move to New Jersey?

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You’re not a woman.

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I made you short?

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It’s like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable.

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Let me do this, Albert.

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Great. Then he’s driving back from Miami at 20 miles an hour with the parking brake on.

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You are beautiful my friend. Lestat must have wept when he made you.

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What we really need is a woman. We can get away with Albert as an uncle if we had a woman as a mother. Ironic, isn’t it? When you need a woman…

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Ugh, what is this, sludge?

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Celsius, look, this may be a drag show, but it still has to be a good drag show, if possible a great drag show.

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All right, I’ll bite, where are you going?

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Val’s fiance is coming tonight with her parents, and we thought…we thought it would be better if you weren’t here.

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When you have talent.

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My God, what a brilliant idea!

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Knew him well enough not to mourn his passing

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They had forgotten the first lesson, that we are to be powerful, beautiful, and without regret.

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The world changes, we do not, there lies the irony that finally kills us.

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Shouldn’t you be holding the crucifix? It is THE prop for martyrs!

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So this is Hell. And there’s a crucifix in it.

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I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. I mean, I walk in the door and there’s a woman in my bed!

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