Movie Quotes for Ace Ventura

"Come to me jungle friends."

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"No problem, it gets flooded, we’ll just wait a few seconds."

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"You’re certain you had to open this door."

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"How can I be getting zis vork done wit all de shouting? Control de shouting?"

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"Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin! You must be getting inside ze dolphin’s head. I am saying to Snowflake, Akay!…Akay Akay Akay? und he is saying AKay Akay! und he is up on ze tail Eeeeeeeeee! und you can quote him!"

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"Ho ho ho Hooooooooooooo! Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. For instance, if you were to look up the NFL’s All Time Bonehead Plays you might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed the 26 yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII."

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"Soccer style kicker graduated from Collier High June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA Division One records, one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname The Mule the first and only pro-athlete ever to come out of Collier County and one hell of a model American."

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"Hmmm, unconscious. Exactly as I planned."

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"Thought I left, didn’t ya?"

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"For God’s sake, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a pool man!"

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"WOW., Ray Finkle’s house, I can’t wait to meet him"

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"Or we could try it now."

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"Go ahead. Snoop around!"

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"Excuse me, Ron, I need to use the bathroom."

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"I have exorcised the demons…this house is clear."

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"I’m sorry. Could you please speak in to my good ear? I thought I heard you call me Ace."

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"I never bring my work home with me, sir."

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"Go to de conference, go to it."

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"Oh, my GOD! Einhorn is a man!"

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"Most likely, sir. I’ll bet it was something nice, though."

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"Gee, let me think. Um sure."

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"Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. I’ve been sent in with a special play. Quarter back sneak"

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"Why don’t come to take a look inside? C’mon. C’mon!"

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"If it gets cold enough."

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"Pleasure to meet you."

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"Ohh, I thought you were someone else."

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"This is double-paned sound-proof glass. There is no way that neighbor could’ve heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah. Can ya feel that, buddy? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

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"I’m ready to go in, coach, just give me a chance. I know there’s a lot of riding on it, but it’s all psychological. Just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind."

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"Let’s see that in an instant replay."

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"No sir, I’m just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland."

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"Yes, Satan? Oh, I’m sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else."

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"But your wife said you expect him home any minute"

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"Good question, Aguado. First, I’d establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug’s DICK, and became insanely jealous."

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"Be careful with that phone, Lieutenant. In time you could develop a tumour."

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"Mr. Shickadance, I told you – you’re my first priority. I’m on a very big case right now. Check this out."

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"I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers!"

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"Because he’s about to join Snowflake. I’ve got to know where he is."

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"Why? So you can beat him?"

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"Poor guy with a motive, baby."

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"Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh?"

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"Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss some coffee."

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"New England clam chowder."

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"Uncle Fester is looking for you."

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"Gee, Chuck, the date started out good. Just before we got to the party she seemed to tense up."

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"It’s ALIVE. IT’S ALIVE."

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"Tom Ace. Pleasure to meet you Sir and may I congradulate you on all your success…you smell TEREFFIC! I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at…Stanford Law…was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy, private homeowners. In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice on little else. How is everyone feeling tonight?"

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"That’s a true Albino pigeon. Some rich guy lost it. He’s offering a $25,000 reward. As soon as I find this bird, you’re paid."

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"I’m gonna execute a button-hook pattern, super slo-mo."

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"Come to me my animal friends!"

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"Receipts, what about receipts? There’s gotta be receipts."

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"That’s why Roger Podacter is dead! He found Captain Winkie!"

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"Well, why don’t you cry about it. Saddlebags."

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"Well I hope so, had I been drinking out of the toilet, I might have been killed."

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"Once you get inside my head, there’s no turning back baby."

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"Excuse me, gentleman. Pet Detective. Come on, what’s the matter with you? Can’t you hit me?"

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"Good night, everybody. You’ve been a wonderful audience, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress."

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"Excuse me sir, but do you have a mint? Perhaps some Binaca?"

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"Yes, yes, oh yes! Can you feel that buddy? I have exorcised the demons. This house is clean."

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"Captain’s Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the…nearest decimal point. We’ve…traveled back in time to save an ancient species from…total annihilation. SO FAR…no…signs of aquatic life, but I’m going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I’m going to find it. I’ve…GOT TO, MISTER."

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"…and a clean pair of shorts."

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"Oh yeah? And you’re ugly."

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"I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake’s tank. It belonged to a 1984 AFC Championship ring. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Blames the whole thing on Marino. We’re talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy’s room. Cozy if you’re Hannibal Lecter!"

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"Hi, I’m looking for Ray Finkle."

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"I think it’s the pt."

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"Free Animals Now. Started in 1982, by Chelsea Gamble, daughter of the famous industrialist Fisher Gamble. Over half a million members from Florida to Finland. No. Who are they?"

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"Ok, I’m really gonna go this time."

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"I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll."

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"Vat happened to him? Vat happened to me? Seven years I am wit Siegfried."

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"Oh there is just one more thing Lieutenant…"

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"Heinz Getwellvet. I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me."

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"I have to have money to buy food. I have to have a dolphin to get the money. I don’t see a dolphin around here, do you?"

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"My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken…if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be…then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!"

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"Heads up! Good defense! Good defense!"

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"What the…That’s it! Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man!"

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"Your request is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger."

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"Whew…now I feel better. ‘Course, that might not do any good you see nobody’s missing a porpoise. It’s a dolphin that’s been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I’m sure you already knew that. That’s what turns me on about ‘cha, your attention to detail."

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"Well? Are you satisfied?"

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"HDS, sir, and how are you this afternoon? All righty, then. I have a package for you."

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"Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Your number’s still 911? All righty then."

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"351, 351, Rover sit. Ha! Ha!"

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"Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I’m gone."

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"Ah, I can never remember that. White."

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"Now, kiss and make up."

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"That’s none of your damn business and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."

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"Hmm-mmm. I don’t smoke. It’s a disgusting habit."

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"What you wouldn’t read about was how Ray Finkle lost his mind was committed to a mental hospital only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino for whom he blamed the entire thing!"

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"Holy testicle Tuesday."

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"Excuse me. I’d like to ass you a few questions."

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"That was a close one ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately in every contest, there must be a loser. Loo-hoo-ser-her."

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"Do not go in there. Woo!"

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"Your gun is digging into my hip."

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"That’s a lovely dog you have there Sir. Mind if I pet him?"

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"Alllrighty then."

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"Excuse me, yes. HDS coming through. I’ve got a package people"

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"I’m in Psychoville and Finkel’s the mayor!"

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"Like a glove!"

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"Obsess much?"

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"I just can’t do it, Captain. I don’t have the power."

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"LOOO-HOOO-ZUH-HER!"

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"Jock."

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"Muscle-head."

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"Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?"

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"Yes Satan."

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"Field Goal Sails Wide. Dolphins Lose Super Bowl."

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"Lovely party. Pity I wasn’t invited."

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"No kill him. He held the ball wrong, remember? Come on, look at the guy."

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"Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear."

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"Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle and Einhorn, Finkle, Einhorn, Einhorn, Finkle, Einhoen and Finkle, Finkle and Einhorn."

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"Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have."

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"Please don’t kill me. I’ll never tell anyone. Kill him, he’s the one you want."

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"Well, I have kissed a man."

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"Aye, Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard, sir!"

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"Do not go in there! Pheeww!"

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"SHE’S NOT LOIS EINHORN!, She’s Ray Finkle, she’s a man."

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"No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle."

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"Holy shitballs."

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"If I’m not back in five minutes…just wait longer."

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"All right! Take care now! Bye-bye, then!"

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"See that you do. If I’d been drinking out of the toilet, I might’ve been killed."

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"All righty then!"

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"Then I’d lose 30 pounds…porkin’ his wife!"

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"Snowflake. Here Snowflake. I’ve got a little snack for you."

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