Movie Quotes for News
In Honor of Graduation Week, MovieQuoter Talks with Lloyd Dobler
It’s Graduation time at high school’s all across the country. So it’s the perfect time for a MovieQuoter Q&A with America’s favorite movie high school grad, Lloyd Dobler of Say Anything: MovieQuoter: First things first, Lloyd. We want to thank you for taking the time to talk to us. Lloyd Dobler: One question: are you [...]
Girl Messes Up the National Anthem at the Memorial Cup Hockey Game. No Word as to Whether She Came Back Later Disguised as a Referee.
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. Simply put, as far as forgetting the words to The Star Spangled Banner goes, it wasn’t the best performance we’ve ever heard. But by no means was it the worst. And at least this girl didn’t have the real singer tied up in the [...]
B“I thought I was looking into a mirror!”: The Stanley Cup Playoffs
One thing I want you to know is that I’m a Boston Bruins fan from birth. Ever since Gerry Cheevers first painted a scar on his facemask and Phil Esposito parked himself in front an opponent’s net and declared “None shall pass” and Bobby Orr’s parents pulled him from the spaceship he was rocketed [...]
Guy Flees the Scene of a Car Crash and Blames it on Bad Chinese Food. He Didn’t Feel Like Chinese Tonight Anyway.
The Smoking Gun – A Florida man who fled the scene of a fender-bender explained to cops that he had consumed some “bad” Chinese food and was “on the verge of defecating in his pants” when he went in search of relief, police report. Carlos Baca, a 27-year-old Honduran citizen, took off last Monday [...]
Painting Gets $43.8 Million at Auction. It’s So Ugly It Could Be a Modern Art Masterpiece
BusinessWeek – A monumental Barnett Newman canvas fetched a record $43.8 million at a $294 million Sotheby’s auction last night, as contemporary art prices rose with stocks… Consigned by Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft Corp., Newman’s 8.5-by-10-foot “Onement VI” was estimated at $30 million to $40 million. Its sale was ensured by an undisclosed [...]
Boston Bomber No. 2 Wrote His Confession Inside the Boat Like He’s Joseph of Aramathea
BOSTON (CBS) – Boston Marathon bombings suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev left a goodbye note in the boat where he was captured in Watertown, CBS News reported Thursday. He wrote the note as he was hiding in the boat, according to Miller, while bleeding from gunshot wounds sustained in a shootout with police and his older [...]
Screaming Arm Wrestling Girl Takes the Internet by Storm. May Have a Prayer in Vegas.
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. This video is going viral right now. And I gotta admit, I admire Screaming Arm Wrestling Girl’s (as she’s she’s now being referred to) style. Fierce. Intense. Nothing held back. And slightly insane. Just like the sport that’s making her internet famous. But [...]
Michigan Football Coach Calls Notre Dame “Chicken.” Why Don’t You Make Like a Tree and Get Out of Here?
ESPN – Michigan coach Brady Hoke took issue Monday with the way Notre Dame pulled out of its annual football rivalry game with the Wolverines.Hoke told a crowd at the West Michigan Sports Commission luncheon in Grand Rapids… “We have unbelievable rivalry games at Michigan,” Hoke said. “The Notre Dame, that rivalry, which they’re chickening [...]
Minnesota Vikings Unveil Their New Stadium Design. The Plans May Have Been Kept Hidden in a Droid.
Minneapolis, MN – The Minnesota Sports Facilities Authority (MSFA), the Minnesota Vikings and HKS Sports & Entertainment Group together unveiled the design of the State’s new multi-purpose stadium… Described as an authentic structure influenced by its Minnesota location, the new stadium exhibits a bold, progressive design that combines efficient functionality with stunning architecture. With [...]
Limo Driver Gets Drunk and Takes Kids to Wrong Prom. May Also Have Thought Aspen is in California.
Chicago – The limousine driver who allegedly was drunk when he drove 23 teenagers in a party bus to the Oswego East High School prom Saturday night says he is innocent and that mechanical issues with the vehicle were at fault for his erratic driving. “I’m not guilty, but it is what it is,” [...]
Lady Kicked Off Airliner for Singing “I Will Always Love You.” you people have no clue what real security is or what it takes to achieve it.
YouTube – An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing and kick a woman off the plane after she refused to stop singing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’. I suppose you can argue that maybe American overreacted. Perhaps you think a harmless crackpot singing “I Will Always [...]
The Bruins Get Stuck in Toronto When Their Plane Goes on the Fritz
Bruins NHL – Statement from Bruins General Manager Peter Chiarelli: “Late during tonight’s game we were made aware that there was a malfunction with our airplane. As a result we are staying in Toronto on Sunday night and the team will travel to Boston on Monday morning.” With all due respect to the [...]
Randy Jackson to Leave “American Idol.” Want to See Something Super Cool…?
LOS ANGELES – Jackson out. Randy Jackson, the lone remaining original “American Idol” judge, won’t be returning to the Fox talent competition next season… Jackson said in a statement that he’s leaving “Idol” to focus on his record label and other business opportunities. I know that “Idol” is a shadow of its former self. [...]
Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia Feud at the TPC in Sawgrass. The Price is Wrong, Bitch.
PONTE VEDRA, FL – Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia really don’t like each other, something that was more than apparent when the two golfers barely acknowledged each other’s existence during 14 holes of their weather-delayed third round at TPC Sawgrass on Saturday. Garcia escalated the cold war between the two when he complained to NBC’s [...]
Ben Affleck Victim of Poker Scandal
TMZ – Ben Affleck was a victim in one of largest poker scandals in history, as one of hundreds of players who lost money on a website called Ultimate Bet during their infamous cheating scandal a few years back. Affleck lost close to half a million dollars to the site. When it comes to poker, [...]
Naked airport protester still in hot water with TSA
Los Angeles Times – The man who stripped naked at a Portland, OR, airport last year in protest of what he saw as overly invasive security measures successfully defended himself against a charge of indecent exposure. He had opted out of the TSA’s full-body image technology screening, undergoing a full hand pat-down instead. He was [...]
ATM Fraud Allowed Thieves To Steal $45 Million In Hours
NEW YORK — A gang of cyber-criminals stole $45 million in a matter of hours by hacking their way into a database of prepaid debit cards and then fanning out around the globe to drain cash machines, federal prosecutors said Thursday. This case isn’t going to be easy one to solve, given the number of [...]
“I thought I was looking into a mirror!”: The Met Gala
Miley Cyrus vs Blade Runner Replicant Girl Beyonce vs Esmeralda Nicole Richie vs Gozer the Gozerian Kristen Stewart Vs The Riddler Kim Kardashian vs Mrs. Doubtfire Anne Hathaway vs The White Witch Stevie Wilson: May 11th, 2013 at 6:01 pm so agree on all of these. SPOT on. Michelle Lovetro: May 11th, 2013 at 6:03 [...]
Scarface Look-alike — Screams Movie Quotes at Cops During Machete Standoff
TMZ.com – When cops arrived, a police negotiator tried to convince the man to surrender peacefully — but he responded by screaming various quotes from “Scarface” … while pointing to a DVD copy of the movie he was carrying in his non-machete hand. Sources at
Today’s Headline: Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s Body “Entombed” say Police
Boston bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev has finally been laid to rest, according to news reports. Worcester police confirmed that Tsarnaev has been “entombed,” but did not disclose the precise location, only saying that it was outside of the city of Worcester, boston.com reported. Apparently the big question of the day is where is this terrorist scumbag [...]
Guitars amp up sex appeal, study says – Bluto begs to differ…
Two recent studies suggest that men are perceived as being more attractive when they are holding a guitar, NBC’s Brian Williams reports. According to a new study, a man holding a guitar (not even playing it!) is more ‘dateable’ than someone holding a gym bag. The study by Nicolas Guéguen of the Universite’ de Bretagne-Sud, [...]
Psychic told Amanda Berry’s Mom her daughter was dead. You’re here because you… want something!
CLEVELAND, Ohio — Nationally known psychic Sylvia Browne has been taking a beating on the web for her prediction almost nine years ago that Amanda Berry was dead. Browne appeared on an episode of the Montel Williams show in November 2004. She told Louwana Miller, who also appeared on the show and was Berry’s [...]
US Military is Buying Bulletproof Cups That a Guy Invented in His Basement. Mother of God…
HuffPo – A Missouri man developed a bulletproof cup that recently caught the attention of the military, according to a report. Jeremiah Raber, of High Ridge, Mo., told area TV station KSDK (watch above) on Monday that he received an Army request to test his product. Raber, who originally intended the groin protection for mixed [...]
Intel employee sues company after getting a “KICK ME” sign on his back. Also for getting hassled at the “Enchantment Under the Sea” Dance
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. – Intel workers secretly taped a “Kick Me” sign to the back of a co-worker as a prank, then kicked the confused man a number of times as employees at the Rio Rancho Intel plant laughed hysterically at the episode, according to a federal lawsuit. The Intel employee, Harvey Palacio, said in the [...]
3 Female Bears at the zoo die fighting over a mate. It smells like sex in here.
DM – Three female bears mauled each other to death during a fight for the affections of a male bear at an Egyptian zoo. American black bears Lolo, Farah and Nabila died on Saturday night as they competed over a male called Hani, a month before the start of the usual mating season.Staff at Giza [...]
No One Wants Marathon Bomber No. 1′s Dead Body. Why don’t we just pretend he didn’t die? Just for a bit!
Boston Herald – The body of Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev has become “an international political football,” the Worcester mortician holding the remains said yesterday, as politicians and diplomats punted and the besieged undertaker fielded more than 100 offers nationwide to take the body off his hands. But funeral director Peter A. Stefan said none [...]
Girls Kidnapped For 10 Years Freed by America’s Newest Internet Sensation. Do you feel joy? Say “joy”!
CLEVELAND (AP) — The woman’s voice was frantic and breathless, and she was choking back tears. “Help me. I’m Amanda Berry,” she told a 911 dispatcher. “I’ve been kidnapped and I’ve been missing for 10 years and I’m, I’m here, I’m free now.” Those words led police to a house near downtown Cleveland where Berry [...]
Ron Burgundy Fights a Shark? Great Odin’s Raven! I’ll never put on a lifejacket again…
This is a paparazzi shot from the set of the Anchorman sequel. No set up necessary. Just a Lightning Round test of MovieQuoting skills, combining two of my all time favorite movies, Ron Burgundy and Jaws. To make a TV reference, this is exactly what George Costanza was trying to achieve when he started eating [...]
Orb Wins the Kentucky Derby
Louisville – Orb, ridden by Joel Rosario, won the 139th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs on Saturday. Orb flashed past his rivals in the final stretch to win the mile and a quarter classic. Golden Soul finished second and Revolutionary was third from the 19 starters. On behalf of the entire MovieQuoter family, [...]
Celebrating May the 4th With Star Wars Quotes for Everyday Use
It’s Star Wars Day. And unless you’ve been hanging upside down with your feet frozen to the roof of a cave on the ice planet Hoth for the last 30 years, you know Star Wars fans celebrate it today because it gives us the chance to say “May the Fourth be with you.” Because we [...]
Blue Jays Announcers Accuse Clay Bucholz of Throwing Spitters….
Toronto – Two Toronto Blue Jays analysts have accused Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz of doctoring his pitches in Wednesday’s 10-1 Red Sox victory. Former pitcher and current Blue Jays analyst Dirk Hayhurst tweeted that he saw Buchholz “loading the ball” with a substance during Wednesday’s broadcast. And former Blue Jays star Jack Morris [...]
Jamestown cannibalism confirmed by skull
(CNN) — The winter of 1609 was treacherous for colonists at Jamestown, in Virginia. Desperate times led to desperate measures. New evidence suggests that includes eating the flesh of fellow colonists who had already died. Archaeologists revealed Wednesday their analysis of 17th century skeletal remains suggesting that settlers practiced cannibalism to survive. Researchers unearthed an [...]
28-Foot Shark Carcass Washes Ashore In Rhode Island
Nature World News – Beachgoers in Rhode Island caught an up-close glimpse of a deep sea dweller after the 28-foot body of a basking shark washed ashore. Basking sharks are the second largest fish in the oceans, behind the whale shark. The fish carcass was found by locals visiting Misquamicut beach area of Westerly, R.I., [...]
Happy May Day!
Today is May 1st, or as it’s most commonly known, May Day. Now there are many ways to celebrate it. We could dance in a circle around a pole with ribbons hanging off it. We could observe Ray Parker Jr.’s birthday by listening to the Ghostbusters theme on constant repeat. We could do what the [...]
President Obama would re-engage Congress on closing the U.S. military-run detention center at Guantanamo Bay
WASHINGTON—President Obama said Tuesday that his administration would re-engage Congress on closing the U.S. military-run detention center at Guantanamo Bay, calling the facility a “recruitment tool for extremists” and suggesting it is undermining U.S. security. “It needs to be closed,” Obama said at a White House news conference Obama: We need to close Guantanamo Bay [...]
Woman Crusading to Keep “Diary of Anne Frank” Out of Schools. Nazi Cow…
A Michigan parent wants parts of Anne Frank’s prolific diary banned from her daughter’s classroom. Gail Horalek of Northville is upset over Frank’s references to her own genitalia in the diary. She says the passages made her daughter uncomfortable and that the school should have requested parental permission before assigning it to students, Patch.com reported. [...]
Guy Loses His Life Savings at a Carnival Game and Wins a Giant Banana. They Thought They Had Themselves a Rube!
MANCHESTER – An Epsom man says all he wanted to do was win his kids a prize at a carnival on Saturday. Instead, he ended up embarrassed, angry and out $2,600. Gribohm attended a Kids Carnival, operated by Fiesta Shows, at the JFK Coliseum on Beech Street Saturday afternoon, when he decided to try [...]
Today’s Headline: Man with touretts repeatedly says “Bomb” on airplane, gets kicked off…
ABC News’ David Kerley, Mosheh Gains and Ben Krolowitz report: A man with Tourette syndrome says he was not allowed to board a flight at Reagan National Airport because he said the word bomb close to 100 times. “I was telling myself in my head before don’t say bomb. When you try to suppress Tourette’s, [...]
Guinness record holder dies while repeating stunt
USA TODAY – An Indian daredevil who made it into the Guinness Book of World Records died Sunday while repeating a version of his stunt, reports the BBC. Sailendra Nath Roy entered the record books in 2011 after traveling the farthest recorded distance on a zip line … using his hair. He attempted to cross [...]
Jets Release Tim Tebow a Year After Thinking He’d Be the Messiah. (And They Should Know; They’ve Followed a Few)
This is a sad, sad day for me. I’m keep trying to take comfort in the thought that Tim Tebow will land somewhere and that the NFL hasn’t seen the last of his special brand of magical holy divine winning power. But no matter where he winds up, it’ll never be the same for me. [...]
Sherpas on Mt. Everest: “It’s Time to Kill a Mountain Man”
DM – A trio of climbers have told how they were attacked by an ‘out-of-control mob’ of up to 100 Sherpas in a terrifying ordeal near the summit of Mount Everest. British photographer Jonathan Griffith and fellow climbers Ueli Steck, from Switzerland, and Simone Moro, who is Italian, say the Sherpas threatened to kill them [...]
Amanda Bynes Shaves Head – this is NOT What a Girl Wants…
(via latimes.com) Amanda Bynes has shaved half her head. Yes, this is the latest twist in her hair-raising saga. “I buzzed half my head like @cassie! No more old photos! This is the new me! I love it!” the former actress tweeted with a photo of the new ‘do. She posted another selfie smiling and showing off her nearly [...]
Mormon Bishop Drives Off a Mugger with His Ninja Blade. Silly Clergyman Likes to Play With Samurai Swords
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her. Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old [...]
UC Berkeley Perfecting “Good” Drones at “Drone Lab”
NBC Bay Area - Much hoopla, fear and knee-jerk reactions follow the mention of drones in the Bay Area, but not all drones are the scary weapons used in the war on terror. Researchers at UC Berkeley are at this moment working on “good” drones, according to SF Weekly. Drones might have provided the kind of surveillance [...]
Girl Born Without Most of Her Bones Now Able to Walk and Dance. Raising a Family of Supers and Saving the World Comes Next
Fox – A breakthrough drug has helped a little girl survive after being born without many of her bones, The Tennessean reported. Janelly Martinez-Amador was born with hypophosphatasia, a genetic disease that disrupts the mineralization process of a person’s bones and teeth. The disease…is usually fatal… But Janelly fought, and at almost 3 years old, [...]
The Hero Who Caught Bomber #2 Wants the Money Raised for Him to Go to the Victims Instead of Fixing the Boat Wrecked by That Jagaloon
Boston- The Watertown man, who found Boston Marathon bomb suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev hiding in a boat in his backyard ending a week of terror for the region, told NewsCenter 5′s Ed Harding exclusively that his one hope is to bring closure to the families of those killed and those who were wounded. View Part 2 [...]
Forensics Team Investigates Boat Scene in Watertown
“I want the entire boat cleaned, scrubbed and disinfected!”
Anchor opens his first newscast with swears. For the last time, anything you put on that Teleprompter he WILL read!
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. Don’t worry A.J. This doesn’t mean the end of your career news casting career. Letting an F-bombs slip can happen to anyone. Even a 5-time Emmy award winning news anchor.” Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. So We’re sure your career [...]
Celebrating Earth Day with the Best “Earth” Quotes
Earth. In the vast, cosmic scheme of things, it might be a tiny, insignificant little pebble spinning in orbit around a non-descript flyspeck star in an average spiral arm of a garden-variety galaxy in an unimportant corner of the universe. But it’s our tiny, insignificant little pebble spinning in orbit around a non-descript flyspeck star [...]
High School in No. Dakota That Burned Kurt Vonnegut Books Should’ve Called Robert Ludlum
HuffPo – Drake High School in North Dakota made headlines in October of 1973 when school board members burned 32 copies of Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughter-House Five because they found it “objectionable,”…Public School Board President Charles McCarthy,
Lost Parakeet Tells the Cops Where He Lives. What a Pretty Bird…
Japan – A pet parakeet was returned to its Japanese owner Wednesday after the brainy bird told police its home address… The male bird, called Piko-chan… was handed over to local police, but Piko-chan did not speak until Tuesday evening, when he blurted out the names of the city and district where [...]
#VideoPepperSpray: Apollo 13 Splashed Down 43 Years Ago Today
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. April 17th, 1970: The day when Jim Lovell, Fred Haise and Jack Swigert… three steely-eyed missile men who, if you could get a washing machine to fly they could land it… completed NASA’s most successful [...]
Crazed Soccer Rioter Punches Police Horse. Hooligan Only Pawn in Game of Life.
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. Kudos to the Newcastle police for subduing this guy. Because nothing says “This guy is not to be trifled with” like watching someone punch out a huge beast of burden:
Aubrey Plaza Interupts Will Ferrell’s MTV Movie Award Acceptance Speech. Like a Smelly Pirate Hooker.
MTV -Aubrey Plaza didn’t say much during her brief trip to the stage at Sunday night’s 2013 MTV Movie Awards. When Will Ferrell asked if she was okay as the barefoot “Parks and Recreation” star tried to snag his Comedic Genius Award, Plaza just looked at him blankly before leaving the stage and spilling her [...]
Justin Bieber Visits Anne Frank’s House and Says That She Would’ve Been “a Belieber”
(With apologies to Kati Cawley Klotz who will never forgive me.) @JerryThornton1
It’s Marathon Monday in Boston. Wun, you Wascals…
I live in the Boston area. And today is one of the truly mixed blessing days on our event calendar. On the one hand, it’s awesome because it’s Patriots Day, a phoney baloney state holiday we made up just because staying home from work and getting paid for it is great every time it’s tried. [...]
Cinderella Boy Wins the Masters: A Tradition Unlike Any Other
Here’s hoping that today on Masters Sunday, that normally reserved Augusta crowd has something to go wild over. But it’s going to be hard to ever top the former greens keeper, the unknown, coming out of nowhere to become the Masters champion. @JerryThornton1
Solar flare blacks out some radios, but the end is not (necessarily) near
A solar flare that accompanied the spewing of electrified gas did knock out some radios early Thursday, and there could be more dramatic solar
That Escalated Quickly… Dodgers vs Padres brawl
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. ESPN SAN DIEGO — Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke broke his left collarbone in a bench-clearing brawl with the San Diego Padres during Los Angeles’ 3-2 victory Thursday night. Juan Uribe’s pinch-hit home run in the eighth Terrell Brown: April 12th, 2013 at 5:40 pm Can [...]
Severed goat’s head at Wrigley Field mirrors curse on Chicago Cubs
(CNN) — A dreaded curse that has nagged Chicago’s Wrigley Field for decades may have triggered a grotesque prank Wednesday, when an unidentified man in an unmarked truck
Dubai Police Add $450,000 Lamborghini to its Fleet
Dubai’s getaway drivers are in for a shock after cops added a $450,000 Lamborghini to its fleet. The white and green Aventador has a top speed of 217 mph and can do 0 to 60 mph in just three seconds — stats that are sure to stop crooks in their tracks.
Playboy “Bunny House” is now for sale….
What!!!! NOOOOOO! Who is behind this…Dean Wormer???? Cheeeeeseeee? (oh excuse me, Dean Pritchard)… is nothing sacred anymore? Whether it’s Delta House, Lamba Lamda Lambda or Mitchapalooza’s Alpha Epsilon Omega, our fraternities and sororities always seem to be under siege from some evil force
Underground Shanty Town Found Outside of Kansas City.
Kansas City – Below the streets of Kansas City, there are deep underground tunnels where a group of vagrant homeless people lived in camps. These so-called homeless camps have now been uncovered by the Kansas City Police, who then evicted the residents because of the unsafe environment.
Happy First Contact Day!
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. Today is April 5, 2013. Which means we’re exactly 50 years to the day from April 5, 2063, the day in which brilliant crackpot Zefram Cochrane will achieve warp speed in his homemade spacecraft, which will alert a passing Vulcan ship who’ll drop in to [...]
Harvard is Covering Up a Major Spying Operation. Fat, Hacking Into Emails and Lying About it is No Way to Go Through Life, Dean
Atlantic Wire – Well, this is embarrassing. Three weeks after trying to contain a scandal involving spying on administrator’s email accounts, Harvard just admitted to violating its own email policy in additional searches of a resident dean’s email account. The details are a little bit nuanced, but to make a long story short, Harvard not [...]
Driver Charged With Driving Under the Influence. Not of Drugs or Booze, but of Music. Mama Mia, They Will Not Let Him Go.
UK – A WHITE van man “high on drum and bass” was driving so erratically that police pulled him over thinking he must be under the influence. Police didn’t chase Aaron Cogley but followed on intrigued as he dawdled through back streets, took a sharp turn and crawled through two sets of red traffic lights. [...]
That’s No Moon, That’s a Giant Nazi Space Ray Gun.
DM – It sounds like something only a Bond villain would propose, but the Nazis planned a mile-wide ‘space gun’ powered by the sun. The giant mirror could be used to focus the sun on a target – like the magnifying glasses used by children to create fire. A long-forgotten article from Life magazine in [...]
The Gun Control Debate in Movie Quotes
Boston.com – Connecticut lawmakers announced a deal Monday on what they called some of the toughest gun laws in the country that were proposed after the December mass shooting at a school in Newtown. Some highlights from the proposal: GUN LAWS —Ban sales of high-capacity ammunition magazines; —Background checks for private gun sales; —New registry [...]
Airline Now Making Fat Guys Pay Extra to Fly. Possibly Six Bucks and Their Right Nut.
IBTimes – Samoa Air has become the first airline to start charging customers according to how much they weigh. The company, based in the Samoan capital Apia, is the first to bring in the controversial measure that means overweight passengers pay more for their ticket. A statement from Samoa Air said: “We at Samoa Air [...]
Macy’s puts $1,500 diamond necklace on sale for $47 – did you see where it came from?!
(via examiner.com) Macy’s accidentally advertised a $1,500 necklace was on sale for just $47. According to a March 31 Yahoo! News report, the major department store mailed a catalog out in March listing the necklace as a “super buy.” The price was supposed to say $479, but the nine got left off. The necklace was sterling silver [...]
Today’s Headlines:
U.S. Deploys Stealth Fighters to South Korea
The Final Four in Movie Quotes
GAME 2: South Region vs East Region Wolverines: How the Wolverines Got to the Final Four: Relied on their guts and courage, plus killer defense and amazing shooting to pull off a series of stunning victories over heavily favored opponents. Rallying cry (tie): “Morale is crucial right now. Keep the men in secluded areas. You’ll [...]
10 Things Movies Taught Me About Easter
I have a confession to make: I like Easter. That’s a confession because by saying I like it, I’m admitting I don’t love it. At least not the way I love other, more kickass holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, the 4th of July, St. Patrick’s, Super Bowl Sunday or International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September [...]
In Honor of March Madness, Moviequoter Talks to Coach Norman Dale
With the NCAA March Madness Tournment in full swing, MovieQuoter is happy to present our exclusive 1-on-1 interview with the greatest movie basketball coach of all time, Norman Dale of the Indiana State Champion Hickory High: MovieQuoter: If you were coaching a team in this year’s tournament, what would you say to your team to [...]
Vada Sultenfuss (Anna Chlumsky, My Girl) is pregnant – also, she is not eleven years old. Who knew?
(via people.com) She’s got sunshine on a cloudy day … and a baby on the way! Anna Chlumsky and husband Shaun So are expecting their first child this summer, the Veep star confirms to PEOPLE exclusively. “I’m feeling pretty good so far,” Chlumsky, 32, tells PEOPLE. “I was really lucky — I did not have any morning sickness which was [...]
Judge Orders Teenager Not to Yell “Bingo!” in Crowded Bingo Parlors Anymore. “That’s a Bingo!” Also Discouraged
COVINGTON, Ky. (CBS Cleveland/AP) — Calling out “bingo” when you don’t have one can get you in trouble in northern Kentucky. Ask Austin Whaley. The 18-year-old man was recently sentenced to refrain from saying “bingo” for six months. That’s because he and several other teens did that at a Covington bingo hall. Park Hills Police [...]
An Old Fat Comedian Dives Off the High Board in Front of a National Audience? Now THAT’S What I Call Marine Biology!
HuffPo – ABC’s eclectic selection of celebrities faced their fears in the newest diving competition show. The premiere of “Splash” featured five of the ten contestants performing dives of varying heights and complexity. Easily the most passionate about the show was comedian Louie Anderson. Louie was more than 400 pounds when training began, and suffered [...]
Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn Announce Relationship on Facebook…
(via abcnews.com) OR just look on her Facebook page: I guess it wasn’t a well-kept secret but yes, I am dating Tiger Woods. Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy. I don’t plan on addressing this further as I would like to [...]
Star Wars Was an Inside Job
See? This just confirms what I’ve been saying all along. I was never one of those sheeple who accepted the official Empire account of what happened and all the phoney stories they put out through their lackeys in the press. All that nonsense about “stolen” battle plans and magical Forces and moisture farmer’s nephews who [...]
John Elway Makes Denver Linebacker Elvis Dumervil a Free Agent When He Doesn’t Fax His Contract Out on Time. He Also Failed to Put a Cover Sheet on His TPS Report.
The Sporting News – John Elway had a bad Friday, but he’s still on a pretty good roll. Things were going great for Elway in free agency until Friday afternoon. That’s when he received a fax too late to keep defensive end Elvis Dumervil. Can’t make this stuff up. #FaxGate was trending Friday on Twitter, [...]
Most Popular New TV Show is “The Bible.” Because Jesus is a Big, Hairy, American Winning Machine
Washington Times – How can the cable mini-series “The Bible” be such a ratings hit when there is no audience for overtly religious entertainment programming? According to the latest Nielsens, released Tuesday, Sunday night’s telecast of “The Bible,” produced by husband-and-wife team Mark Burnett and Roma Downey for basic cable’s History channel, managed to attract [...]
Nutjob Crashes Into Police Car While Chanting “Do, Ray, Me, Soh” Because Aliens Were Chasing Him.
UK – A driver who rammed a police car because he thought he was being chased by aliens has been banned from driving and ordered to receive psychiatric treatment. Brett Webber was in the grip of a psychotic episode when he drove for more than a mile through Exeter on the rims of his van’s [...]
Pregnancy Book Author Warns About the Dangers of Kids Having Too Many Activities. And Power Tools.
Heidi Murkoff – For three decades, as the author of What To Expect When You’re Expecting, I’ve advised new mothers in their millions…When I became a young mother, the only activity to do with a baby was to put it in a pram and go for a walk. Now there’s every class imaginable — each [...]
Guy Poisons His Girlfriend with Eye Drops. That’s Too Hardcore.
California – A man has been arrested for allegedly trying to poison his girlfriend by lacing her drinks with eye drops. Shayne Carpenter fed the woman Visine when he was angry with her after a fight, according to police. She apparently discovered the horrific ‘prank’ after reading incriminating texts on his phone in which he [...]
Man arrested on DUI gets left in solitary for 2 years, gets $15.5 million in exchange
CNN- Stephen Slevin’s 22 months in solitary confinement in a county jail left him traumatized and physically weak, but he’ll soon be a multimillionaire for his suffering. The New Mexico county that locked him up on a drunk driving charge, isolated him from other inmates and accused of essentially forgetting about him for nearly two [...]
Debunker Says Russell Crowe’s UFO was Just a Yacht. This One is a Group Playing Touch Football. This is a Flock of Pigeons Fighting Over Bread Crumbs
Australia – Well, this is awkward… An expert has claimed that Russell Crowe’s alleged UFO sighting was nothing more than lights from a sailboat. The actor had left his camera taking constant photos of the view from his office window in the hope of seeing fruit bats, and was apparently astonished to later see what [...]
Not This Again…
For the critical backstory, see here:
I don’t want your… birthday – um, what? Happy, happy, James van der Beek!
OMG. Do you REMEMBER when Varsity Blues came out? I remember that the friend I went with TOTALLY wore cowboy boots. It was 1999, and the living was cheesy. Well, he’s 36 today, and in honor of that, I’m going to hit you with the hard five. The five BEST “Mox” scenes (and I just [...]
Park Workers Attacked by a Huge Swarm of Killer Bees. Holy Schnikies!
TAMPA – Two Tampa park employees were swarmed by as many as 100,000 Africanized honeybees, after they accidentally disturbed a hive. David Zeledon and Rodney Pugh were both removing a pile of trash near the entrance road of Picnic Island Park, when they overturned an old truck tire. That’s when they spilled the bees. “It [...]
Microsoft Fined a Half a Billion Euros Because They Were Supposed to Go Through All These Lines of Code and… Ah, It Doesn’t Really Matter
UK – MICROSOFT has been fined more than half-a-billion euros for denying its users a choice of web browser when using Windows 7 after engineers omitted a single line of code from an update. The oversight meant that as many as 15 million people across the European Union were not presented with alternatives to the [...]
Bust out your Hot Pockets – it’s National Frozen Food Day!
1. Did you know this was an actual day? 2. What is your favorite frozen food? Oh, Hot Pockets, you say? That is such a funny coincidence, mine is too? I’m sure that eight or nine years ago you sent in the requisite number of UPC codes to acquire THIS t-shirt: and will spend your [...]
Happy Birthday, Oreo Cookies. Pay Dat Man His Money
Press Release – Happy Birthday Oreo! The chocolate cookie with vanilla fondant that we have all grown to love turns 101-years-old. On March 6, 1912 the Oreo company was founded in Chelsea, New York. Back in 1912, the an Oreo cookie was actually referred to as an Oreo biscuit. Oreo has fans in over 100 [...]
Idiots Steal a Yacht and Crash It. But Investment Opportunities are Still Available for Prestige Worldwide
California – Three people were arrested by California police after they stole a $2.8million yacht and ran it aground on a beach 25 miles away. The thieves, two men and one woman, stocked up on pizza and beer before stealing the sailboat from a marina in Sausalito and taking it for a midnight joyride. The [...]
Study Confirms Women’s Brains are Smaller Than Men’s. It’s Science.
DM – It’s a standing joke among many men… that women have smaller brains. Now research seems to indicate that while this may be true, it doesn’t matter because women use their brains more efficiently. A woman’s works more efficiently than the man’s by using less energy and fewer brain cells to achieve the same, [...]
Jamie Lynn Spears is engaged, y’all! Now let’s watch Crossroads!!
(via cbsnews.com) Britney Spears recently took off her engagement ring, but her little sister has just put one on. Jamie Lynn Spears, 21, plans to marry Jamie Watson, 30, and showed off her engagement ring in an Instagram photo posted to Twitter on Saturday. She later added: “#blessed #blessed #blessed.” Britney sent good wishes to [...]
Fake Batman Drops a Perp Off at the Local Police Station. Real Batman Doesn’t Wear Hockey Pads
UK – Police officers in Bradford, England last week got a gift that will be familiar to comic book readers everywhere when a ne’er-do-well was dropped off to be booked at the police station by none other than Batman himself. Early on the morning of February 25, the Caped Crusader — who looks to have [...]
No More Sporting Event Flyovers. Washington Says “Negative Ghostrider, the Pattern is Full.”
USA Today -We’ve oohed and aahed at the vroom of military jets flying over sporting events. That will be silenced if the federal budget cuts of sequestration are fully implemented… “The Thunderbirds are expected to stand down effective April 1. (Las Vegas) is pretty much going to be, I think, the last flyover you’ll [...]
Taco Bell Serves Horsemeat. Kalteen Bars are Still OK, Though
The Sun – FOOD giants Birds Eye, Taco Bell and caterers Brakes all confirmed today that horsemeat has been found in their beef products. BIRDS EYE confirmed two products withdrawn as a precaution last week have tested positive: a spaghetti bolognese and beef lasagne all made in Belgium. US-owned TACO BELL has had to [...]
First Female Gets Invited to an NFL Regional Combine. Hey, Sugar! Don’t Get Nervous!
NY – A 28-year-old woman from New York is set to become the first female to be given a try out for the NFL. Lauren Silberman had never kicked anything more than a soccer ball in an organised game before she started practicing long-range field goals. Now she has been given a chance at [...]
Redneck Dies Falling Into Sinkhole. Fortunately My Dad Taught Me Not to Laugh at Things That are Funny
Florida – The brother of a man who is presumed dead after he was swallowed by a 100-foot-wide sinkhole beneath his bedroom has sobbed as he described his frantic bid to save him. Jeff Bush, 36, screamed for his brother as he was sucked into the 50-foot-deep hole and became trapped in the rubble at [...]
Hockey Coach Jailed for Tripping a Kid. Man’s a Menace! He Belongs in a Penitentiary!
British Columbia – A junior ice hockey coach has been sentenced to 15 days in jail for tripping a young player during a post game handshake. Martin Tremblay, 48, swept out the leg of a youngster while the teams were going through the traditional hockey ritual of lining up to congratulate each other after the [...]
Man Eaten By a Giant Shark. This Was No Boating Accident.
New Zealand – An award-winning film and TV director was today mauled to death by a Great White shark as he swam off a popular New Zealand tourist beach. Adam Strange, 46, was attacked and pulled under water about 200metres from Auckland’s Muriwai Beach at around 1.30pm in front of hundreds of beach tourists. Up [...]
Jason Segel and Michelle Williams break up… I seriously hope it went better than this…
(via people.com) The fairytale is over for Michelle Williams and Jason Segel. The Oz the Great and Powerful star and the How I Met Your Mother actor split a few weeks ago after dating for a year, a source confirms to PEOPLE. The long distance – Williams, 32, is based in New York City, while Segel, 33, primarily resides in Los Angeles – was [...]
Parents Outraged That High School Baseball Players Hold Secret Fights. No Word on How Project Mayhem is Coming Along
VICTORVILLE (CBSLA.com) — Parents are outraged after cellphone video captured baseball players at a Victorville high school duking it out on campus. The footage, which was sent to CBS2 by a concerned parent, showed Victor Valley High School students brawling with boxing gloves, no protective head gear and no adults present in the varsity boys’ [...]
DC Comics Kills Off Robin. This is Why Superman Works Alone
NY Post – Robin the Boy Wonder, Batman’s aide-de-camp, will be killed battling a brutal enemy in a comic book published Wednesday. The shocking demise of the Dark Knight’s sidekick will first appear in issue No. 8 of the offshoot title “Batman Incorporated,” but the aftermath of his death will ripple throughout the DC Comics [...]
Best Moment in Oscars History
— MOVIECLIPS.com
The 10 Worst Moments in Oscars History
10) Sally Field is Really Needy You’d think an actress who made her bones playing a nun who can fly would feel pretty validated about winning a Best Actress Oscar. But apparently that didn’t do it for Sally Field. So when she pulled a second one for “Places in the Heart,” she finally felt [...]
Radioactive Material Stolen Out of the Back of a Van. Whoa, That’s Heavy…
The Sun – COPS are hunting thieves after a canister of radioactive material was stolen from the back of a van. Alarmingly, it contains the same radioactive substance which can be used to make dirty bombs. Police have issued an urgent appeal after the van driver discovered the one ft-long yellow case holding the [...]
Russian Meteor Creates a Mysterious Slime in England. What a Disgusting Blob…
UK – Experts are examining a mysterious slime in a Somerset nature reserve in the wake of a meteor strike thousands of miles away in Russia. Translucent goo which resembles “something living” was discovered pretty Ham Wall reserve by nature lovers. Theories abound about what the jelly is – from “crystallised brain fungus” to the [...]
HS Hockey Team Forfeits Playoff Game for Doing a “Racy” Dance. This is a Serious Game! It’s Not a Freakshow!
Yahoo – As reported by the Journal-News’ high school hockey blog, the Nyack (N.Y.)-Tappan Zee (N.Y.) High boys hockey co-op team forfeited its first round Section I state playoff game against Lakeland (N.Y.)-Panas (N.Y.). While there was no official reason given for the forfeit, there’s little question about what caused the forfeit: A rather racy [...]
British Author Calls Kate Middleton Everything But “Queen of Filth”
Daily Mail – She is a double Booker Prize winner, the darling of the literary establishment. And Hilary Mantel has used her position among the novel-writing elite to launch an astonishing and venomous attack on the Duchess of Cambridge. Mantel, whose latest books are set in the Tudor court, dismissed Kate as a ‘machine-made’ [...]
Anchorman Arrested for Abusing His Anchorlady Wife, Telling Her to Go Back to Her Home on Whore Island
NY – New York’s CBS 2 News anchor Rob Morrison faces felony charges after violently choking wife Ashley Morrison during a fight at their suburban Connecticut home, police said. Police arrest Morrison after Ashley’s mother called to report a domestic incident at the couple’s Hollow Tree Ridge home at 1:30 a.m. Sunday. ‘Upon arrival, [...]
Presidents Day Tribute to the Most Referenced President in Movie History
I’m no political scientist. But I do know that no president has ever been referenced more in movies than Richard M. Nixon. I suppose there’s something about being a bitter, paranoid little troll who resigned in disgrace that makes you more interesting than, say, Millard Fillmore. “I am not a crook!”- Ex Presidents Nixon Mask [...]
Ray Lewis Won the Super Bowl with His Magic Touch. He’s Tired Now, Boss. Dog Tired.
I take back everything I’ve ever said bad about Ray Lewis. I’ve always thought he was a delusional, nonsense-talking buffoon and an egomaniacal phoney in love with his own hype. But now I see he makes magic happen with his hands. He’s John Coffey, one of God’s true miracles. That kick return had nothing to [...]
Weirdo Claims He Killed Bigfoot. Goodbye, My Friend
SAN ANTONIO – Right now, the online Bigfoot community is on fire with claims from a controversial man who is saying he shot and killed a Bigfoot in Northwest San Antonio last September. Rick Dyer is the man who claims he killed Bigfoot. He makes a living tracking the mythical creature and runs a [...]
2 Year Old Has a Fit on a Plane, Businessman Helps Him Calm Down, Get Ahold of Himself
USA Today – A 60-year-old Idaho aerospace executive has been charged after allegedly slapping a crying infant as their Delta Air Lines flight from Minneapolis was landing in Atlanta. Joe Rickey Hundley, of Hayden, was charged with misdemeanor simple assault for the Feb. 8 incident aboard Flight 721, the FBI said. Hundley is president [...]
Giant Asteroid is Heading Towards Earth. Godspeed and Good Luck to You.
NASA’s Official Site – NASA Television will provide commentary starting at 11 a.m. PST (2 p.m. EST) on Friday, Feb. 15, during the close, but safe, flyby of a small near-Earth asteroid named 2012 DA14. NASA places a high priority on tracking asteroids and protecting our home planet from them. This flyby will provide a [...]
Don’t Call it a Comeback – Jane Seymour, woman, MILF, legend, turns 62
As we all bask in the post-coital glow of all that is Valentine’s Day, we may think that all of the fun is over until, well, Monday, when we celebrate President’s Day (an equally sexy holiday!), but fear not, friends – there is something to get you over the hump. And that is Jane Seymour’s [...]
Where Have I Heard That Before: Obama Rose Garden Joke Edition
Nice try, Mr. President. But you can’t fool a Movie Quoter: On the other hand, if you’re going to steal a Michael Douglas line, it might as well be a harmless one like that. I mean, Romney based his whole campaign on “Greed is good” and look where that got him. @JerryThornton1
It’s a Quoterful Life: Valentine’s Day Edition
t’s a MovieQuoter Life: Where we chronicle the true tales of movie line usage in our every day lives… Nothing of course is too good for My Darling Irish Rose, so I ducked into a flower shop this afternoon looking for a little token of my undying affection and had this exchange: Florist [...]
LPGA Golfer Cuts Spider Venom Out of Herself, Goes on to Shoot a 74. With Great Power Comes Great Golfing
(Reuters) – Daniela Holmqvist performed emergency surgery with a golf tee to extract potentially fatal spider venom from her leg before going on to complete her round in a qualifying event for the women’s Australian Open in Canberra. The 24-year-old Swede was on the fourth hole at the Royal Canberra Country Club on Tuesday when [...]
Goalie Scores an Own-Goal, Then Flips Off His Coach. Shoot the Puck, Joey…
Nosebleeds – A disgruntled high school hockey goalie found a pretty unique way to get back at his coaches on Tuesday night – by scoring on his own net, flipping off his coaches before giving a salute and exiting the ice… the goalie in the video is (or, more likely at this point, [...]
Aspen Plagued by a Mysterious Foul Odor. Flush, You Bastard.
ASPEN, Colo. (CBS4) – It used to be an inconsistent nuisance, but now it’s turned in to one big stinking problem. And workers at one Colorado sanitation plant don’t know why it smells so bad. There are actually several theories to the problem in Aspen, but no solution yet. The complaints from one neighborhood full [...]
Banana Joe Wins Best in Show. Buck Laughlin Approves.
New York – An Affenpinscher named Banana Joe out-pawed dogs twice his size Tuesday night to win the top prize at the canine Super Bowl. The 5-year-old pampered pooch from Allenboro, Mass., captured the Best in Show trophy at the 137th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Show — wowing the crowd at Madison Square Garden with [...]
For your Valentine’s Day Pleasure – 11 Quotiest Love Quotes, Because 10 Just Wasn’t Enough
It’s the big week – Valentine’s Week. That’s what the kids call it anyway, check the Twitter. Anyway, in honor of this Very Important Holiday, it behooves me to share with you (behoove is a funny word) my 11 favorite romantic movie quotes. I didn’t use any movies that were adapted from books, so all [...]
It’s Ash Wednesday
Its Ash Wednesday. Where Christians of different denominations from around the world get annointed with the ashes of palms from the previous year’s Palm Sunday to mark the start of Lent. Ash is a reminder of human mortality. Ash is a symbol of atonement. Ash is a sign of repentance. Ash is…a goddamn robot! [...]
In Honor of Lincoln’s Birthday: Four Score and Seven of the Best Lincoln Movie Quotes
OK, actually ten. I don’t know much about math, but I think four score and seven is like… thousands. Anyway, use these today to impress those of your friends and family who think they know everything about Lincoln just because they actually paid attention in History class. Oh, and while I’m on the subject, I [...]
North Korea Tests Nukes. The World Could Really Use Hans Brix Right Now.
(Reuters) – North Korea conducted its third nuclear test on Tuesday in defiance of existing U.N. resolutions, drawing condemnation from around the world, including from its only major ally, China, which summoned the North Korean ambassador to protest. The reclusive North said the test was an act of self-defense against “U.S. hostility” and threatened further, [...]
Katy Perry at the Grammys was Built for Comfort AND Speed
Ah, Ellen Degeneres. You motorboatin’ SOB. You old sailor you… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just projecting. @JerryThornton1
Q Exclusive: Vatican Releases Video of Pope Quitting
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte.
Whitney, One Year Later…
(via abcnews.com) From the rumor mill to a reality show, it has been a busy year for Whitney Houston’s family since her tragic death last February. Houston drowned in a hotel bathtub on Feb. 11, 2012, in Beverly Hills, Calif. Authorities said her death was complicated by cocaine use and heart disease. In a Grammy [...]
10 Things We Know About the Pope’s Resignation, Thanks to MovieQuotes
Pope Benedict XVI is to resign at the end of this month after nearly eight years as the head of the Catholic Church, saying he is too old to continue at the age of 85. The unexpected development – the first papal resignation in nearly 600 years – surprised governments, Vatican-watchers and even his closest [...]
Makeup Artist Who Created Yoda Transforms Into the Force
LONDON — Stuart Freeborn, a pioneering movie makeup artist behind creatures such as Yoda and Chewbacca in the “Star Wars” films, has died. He was 98. LucasFilm confirmed Wednesday that Mr. Freeborn had passed away, “leaving a legacy of unforgettable contributions.” “Star Wars” director George Lucas said in a statement that Mr. Freeborn was [...]
Socialite Throws Going Away Party Before He Goes To Jail.
NY Post – A “pretentious” Manhattan socialite hosted a swanky, “black tie optional” bash in January — where he sipped champagne with his fabulous friends and boasted of an upcoming years-long vacation to Europe he was about take. Tabber Benedict bellied up to the bar at Chelsea’s Bungalow 8 — with a woman on his [...]
“Wild Thing” Singer Reg Presley Dies. He Made Evvvverything Grooooovy.
LONDON — The structure is simple, the guitar riffs basic, the lyrics at best inane, but the Troggs’ “Wild Thing” remains a garage rock classic more than 45 years after its release made The Troggs and lead singer Reg Presley international stars. Presley, whose raunchy, suggestive voice powers this paean to teenage lust, died [...]
“I’ve missed my chance, Mike.” Another Movie Quote Opportunity Lost
Lindsay Vonn might have had a lot of things going through her mind when she took this spill: Her blown chance at a World Championship. Her relationship with Tiger Woods. Her ski pole. But none of that is an excuse for missing the opportunity to drop a movie line when it presents itself. There’s only [...]
Cops Caught Ignoring Emergency Calls. Make the Badge Proud, Slater
Miami-Dade – Five police officers and one sergeant with the Kendall squad were allegedly caught on camera ignoring emergency dispatch calls. The video, obtained by NBC 6 South Florida, shows incidents like one on Oct. 5, 2010 where Officer Dario Socarras apparently ignored a residential burglary call and chose to meet a woman at the [...]
How Ray Lewis envisioned/believes the Superbowl ended for him
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. Ladies and gentlemen, acquitted of murder and father of 6 by 4, with 4 menacing tackles tonight….Ray Lewis!
National Anthem Showdown, Alicia Keys vs Frank Drebin. Who Ya Got?
Best of luck to Alicia Keys singing theNational Anthem at the Super Bowl tonight. The whole world will be watching. It’s not the easiest song to sing, by any means. And after the backlash Beyonce took after the Inaugural, Alicia can’t get away with lip-syncing it. But she’s got one thing working in her favor: [...]
#Shawshanked by: “Groundhog Day”
February 2nd might be the most bizarre, inexplicable (I use the term loosely) “holiday” on the calendar. The townspeople of an obscure little hamlet in Pennsylvania gathering every year to experience the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. And using it as an excuse to drink. But as strange and incomprehensible as [...]
Pump the breaks: Post Office makes atttempt at diplomatic immunity from traffic laws
Yahoo! News - A government lawyer’s attempt to get dismissed nearly $700 in traffic tickets given to the U.S. Postal Service is being met with a hearty and humorous, Heck no. In a Jan. 22 letter sent to both the city of East Cleveland, Ohio, and the company that operates the city’s photo-enforcement program, Postal Service attorney Jennifer [...]
Pilot Passes Out in Middle of a Flight. The Poor Bastard is Reduced to a Quivering, Wasted Piece of Jelly
PORTLAND, Ore. An Alaska Airlines jetliner bound for Seattle made an emergency landing in Portland, Ore., Thursday night after the pilot lost consciousness, an airline spokesman said. The co-pilot landed Flight 473 safely after declaring an emergency to get priority care for the pilot, spokesman Paul McElroy said. All of the airlines’ pilots are trained [...]
NASA Didn’t Tell The Crew of Columbia They Were Doomed. Failure Was an Option…
DM – NASA has revealed that the Columbia crew were not told that the shuttle had been damaged and they might not survive re-entry. The seven astronauts who died will be remembered at a public memorial service on the 10th anniversary of the disaster this Friday at Florida’s Kennedy Space Center. The shuttle was [...]
Pauly Shore is 45 and Nary a Son-in-Law Reference in Sight
So, Pauly Shore, pantheon of hilarity, class and elegance, is celebrating the big 4-5 today and I know you are all rolling your eyes, like, “STOP with the Son-in-Law references already!” and I’m all “Listen, man, I celebrate Pauly’s entire catalogue (triple word score on a double MQ) and I am well aware of [...]
Media/Press just got pummeled by Beyonce
Watch this video on YouTube Embedded with WP YouTube Lyte. OMG! Yahoo News- Beyoncé Knowles held a press conference in New Orleans on Thursday where she talked about her highly anticipated Super Bowl half-time performance. But first, the singer addressed the elephant in the room. When Beyonce walked on stage she asked the audience to rise, then proceeding to [...]
Police arrest ‘Dazed and Confused’ actor after Arizona bar fight
(via reuters.com) “Dazed and Confused” star Jason London has been arrested in Arizona and charged with assault and disorderly conduct over a bar room fracas in which he is accused of throwing punches and later defecating in a patrol car on his way to jail, a police report showed on Tuesday. The 40-year-old actor, [...]
Guy Surfs a 100-ft Wave. 100% Pure Adrenalin
Guardian – Hawaiian surfer Garrett McNamara is said to have broken his own world record for the largest wave surfed when he caught a wave reportbed to be around 100ft off the coast of Nazaré, Portugal. If the claims are verified, it will mean that McNamara, who was born in Pittsfield, Massachusetts but whose family [...]
Real Life Ken and Barbie Meet and Things are NOT Groovy
A MODEL who has turned herself into a living Barbie paired up with a real-life Ken — and they hated the sight of each other. Valeria Lukyanova, 23, is the spitting image of the iconic plastic doll, with long blonde hair, tiny waist and large bust. Justin Jedlica, 32, has spent around £70,000 on extensive [...]
Tina Fey eyes ‘Mean Girls’ musical – that is SO fetch!
(via nytimes.com) While Lindsay Lohan struggles to reshape her battered image, her hit 2004 film “Mean Girls” is in line for a makeover — as a musical. At Sunday’s SAG Awards, Tina Fey, who wrote the screenplay, told E! News that the project is on her to-do list after “30 Rock” concludes on Jan. 31. “I’m trying [...]
MovieQuoter Salutes Elijah Wood’s Birthday With the Entire “Lord of the Rings” Trilogy Told in Frodo Baggins Quotes
Elijah Wood is 32 years old today. Sure, he’s had a lot of screen roles. There might be a few among us who still think of him as the little creepy Amish kid in “Witness.” Or even fewer might remember him as the much, much creepier mute cannibal guy from “Sin City.” But who are [...]
New Racecar is Fueled with Garbage. But it Still Produces 1.21 Jigowatts
Daytona – Mazda hopes ride a tankful of chicken guts, beef tallow and pork lard to victory at the grueling Rolex 24 endurance race in Daytona over the coming weekend. No, the maker isn’t sponsored by the local butcher. It’s powering its new Mazda6 race car with a custom-made fuel blend that starts out with [...]
Model faces tough road ahead after suffering facial injuries in freak accident
Yahoo! News - Lisa D’Amato is not ready for her close-up – but she’s confident that she will be soon! The 32-year-old model, who was the winner of the all-star edition of “America’s Next Top Model,” is recovering from multiple facial injuries, including a broken nose and lacerations in her forehead, chin, and lips. The wounds [...]
A Birthday Tribute to John Belushi
Today is the 64th birthday of the late, great John Belushi. Or would have been, if a potent blend of booze, heroin and cocaine didn’t have other ideas. It’s astonishing to look over his filmography and realize a guy as unforgettable as he only made seven theatrical films. Astonishing and profoundly sad, given the [...]
Paula Deen’s family loses 178 pounds together, cuts fried Oreos completely out of diet
OMG! Yahoo! - Hey y’all, Paula Deen’s family is looking really good. The Food Network star, her husband Michel Groover, and sons Jamie and Bobby, have lost a combined 178 pounds over the past year by sticking to diets specially tailored for their hectic schedules… and of course, that don’t include her infamous (and very [...]
Happy Birthday, Tiffani Thiessen (leave out the Amber or Pauly Gets it)!
Ah, everyone’s favorite. Tiffani Thiessen, turns 39 today. You’re thinking, “Um, yeah, obviously Kelly, um, Valerie, um Tiffani-Amber, um, whatever her name is is a sexual icon for guys coming of age in the early 1990s (or past, present, whatever), but she is a TV star.” Well, maybe you didn’t see Son-In-Law, with a [...]
Naked Guy Runs Around Someone’s House Howling at the Moon. Homeowner Kinda Forced to Deal With It
A Florida homeowner’s desperate 911 call reveals the moment a naked home invader allegedly broke into his family’s home before pleasuring himself on the floor and defecating throughout the house. ‘He dropped off my roof and ran right into my house!’ the terrified owner told police dispatch in North Fort Myers, as NBC2 reports. [...]
Um, Could This be the Biggest Birthday Day Ever??
January 22, a day that will probably go unnoticed. Until. UNTIL. Until you see who was born today. Um, like, everyone?! Yeah. It is too hard to narrow this one down to just one, so you get the list, baby. Only because I love you. And I hear you put out… Steve Perry turns 64. [...]
Manti Te’o had an actual physical real life rebound girl after fake dead one died
TMZ - Manti Te’o quietly began dating an actual living, breathing female human being … shortly after he learned “Lennay Kekua” had died from cancer … and the rebound chick is HOT … TMZ has learned. Sources close to Manti tell us … the Notre Dame star met Alexandra del Pilar the weekend of November 10 — when Notre [...]
An NFL Player Says He Met Te’o's Fake Girlfriend. My Guess is You Will Never Hear From Her Again.
DM – Two more football players have today been dragged into the elaborate and confusing hoax surrounding Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o and his ‘dead girlfriend’ after a tweet was sent from a Twitter account claiming to be hers… it has now emerged that Te’o may have not been the first victim of the [...]
On tonight’s episode of Catfish: Manti Te’o
Deadspin - Notre Dame’s Manti Te’o, the stories said, played this season under a terrible burden. A Mormon linebacker who led his Catholic school’s football program back to glory, Te’o was whipsawed between personal tragedies along the way. In the span of six hours in September, as Sports Illustrated told it, Te’o learned first of the death of [...]
Coca-Cola addresses obesity, defends itself in TV ad campaign… somewhere, Chunk is heartbroken
(via latimes.com) A perennial target for critics of sugary drinks, Coca-Cola Co.took to prime-time TV broadcasts to acknowledge its role in the fattening of Americans — and to defend itself. In a two-minute advertisement that was to debut Monday night on cable news channels, the world’s top beverage company addressed what it called the “complex challenge [...]
SFO to become Harvey Milk International?
SFgate - A San Francisco supervisor wants to rename the city’s airport in honor of civil rights leader Harvey Milk, a change supporters said would send a global message about the importance and struggles of gays and lesbians for equality. Supervisor David Campos will introduce legislation Tuesday that would place the proposal to rename San Francisco International Airport as Harvey Milk San Francisco International Airport [...]
Lloyd Bridges would have been ONE HUNDRED today. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines…
On January 15, 1913, Lloyd Bridges was born. Yes, he gave birth to The Big Lebowski and one of the Fabulous Baker Boys, but damn, he was FUNNY. Did you know his final film is something called “Jane Austen’s Mafia!”? Um, that needs to be checked out IMMEDIATELY. It looks totally stupid and of [...]
Was Chris Brown a Bond henchman in “The World Is Not Enough?”
Legitimate question. Bullion?
Evil Scientists Could Hold the World Hostage with Global Warming? Throw Me a Frickin Bone Here, People
Daily Mail – A rogue nation could use climate change as an excuse to carry out potentially disastrous experiments with geoengineering, experts warn. A country threatened by rising sea levels or even a wealthy individual could use their resources to tamper with the atmosphere in a bid to cool the planet, with uncertain consequences.The nightmare [...]
Veruca Salt Wrote a Book! No, Really.
(via jezebel.com) This week in Mark Frauenfelder Finds the Best Shit, he’s tracked down a memoir written by Julie Dawn Cole, the actress who played the Girl Who Had it All But Never Even Knew It, Veruca Salt, in the good original Willy Wonka. The book, published in July of 2011, is called I Want it Now! A Memoir of Life [...]
Airliner Has a Snake On It. Everybody Strap In!
Australia – Passengers on a Qantas jet flying over Australia got a shock when they spotted a 12ft python clinging on to a wing at 30,000ft. The plane was around 20 minutes into its flight from Cairns in northern Australia to Papua New Guinea when a female passenger first announced she could see the reptile. [...]
Baseball HOF says, “Yeah, we’re full right now.”
Yahoo! News - NEW YORK (AP) — No one was elected to the Hall of Fame this year. When voters closed the doors to Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and Sammy Sosa, they also shut out everybody else. For only the second time in four decades, baseball writers failed to give any player the 75 percent [...]
He wants to throw it all down and get lifted – Justin Bieber caught smoking the weed…
(via latimes.com) What were you doing when you were 18? Looks as if Justin Bieber has been getting his party on. Bieber was photographed last Wednesday at a hotel-room party in Newport Beach holding what appears to be a marijuana cigarette while sitting with fellow partyers and a couple of empty beer bottles. The photos, taken in the [...]
Justin Bieber Caught Smoking Pot. But Just This Once
Music Network – The shocking news that a rich-beyond-his-dreams teenage musician may indulge in recreational marijuana use has sent The shocking news that a rich-beyond-his-dreams teenage musician may indulge in recreational marijuana use has sent shockwaves throughout the world, with no precedents in place to help us comprehend this tragedy. However, we have uncovered [...]
Carmelo Anthony Threatens to Fight Kevin Garnett in the Alley. Only in America!
NEW YORK — While Kevin Garnett turned off his inner warrior and returned to his normal mild-mannered off-court personality just minutes after the Celtics’ 102-96 win over the New York Knicks, Carmelo Anthony was left raging, so much so that he tried to confront Garnett twice after the game, including standing feet from the [...]
Laurence Fishburne Confronts a Stalker in His House. Fortunately, He’s Figured Out “The System.”
California – Actor Laurence Fishburne had an unwelcome visitor on New Year’s Day when an ex-convict turned up at his Californian home and tried to evict him and his family. Brazen Anthony Francis, whose real name is Mark Francisco, told Fishburne’s actress wife Gina Torres Fishburne, they were living in the Los Angeles house [...]
BCS Championship Alabama vs Notre Dame: The Tale of the Movie Tape
Tonight we get to watch not only the two best teams in college football fight it out for the national championship, we’ll get to see two of the most storied programs in the history of college athletics going at it. The Alabama Crimson Tide have won 14 national titles. The Notre Dame Fighting Irish have [...]
YES YES YES!!! Ann Magnuson turns 56!
Who is Ann Magnuson, you ask? Only the woman who played the most beautiful, amazing, and hysterical character of all time!!!! She is the one who Chris Elliot gave it up to in Cabin Boy, and spawned one of the most oft-quoted, um, quotes in all of MovieQuoter Land… It is [...]
Girl in Iceland Banned by Law From Having a Silly Name. Phil Dale Approves
REYKJAVIK, Iceland – Call her the girl with no name. A 15-year-old is suing the Icelandic state for the right to legally use the name given to her by her mother. The problem? Blaer, which means “light breeze” in Icelandic, is not on a list approved by the government. Like a handful of other [...]
Korean TMZ: Is First Lady of North Korea fat or pregnant?
ABC News Blogs- SEOUL, South Korea - Experts on North Korea have long studied photos of the country’s leaders trying to interpret the significance in the slightest change of body language, pose or position of hierarchy. That intense scrutiny has now been turned on the wife of Kim Jong-Un in a celebrity-like guessing game about whether she had been [...]
It’s JRR Tolkien’s Eleventy-first Birthday
The Tolkien Society – On the 3rd January 1892 JRR Tolkien was born in Bloemfontein, South Africa. To celebrate this event, on this day each year Tolkien fans around the world were invited to raise a glass and toast the birthday of this much loved author 21:00 (9 pm) your local time. The toast is [...]
New Years Driver Goes the Wrong Way on the Interstate for 18 Miles. Thank you! Thanks a lot! What a moron…
DUNMORE, PA – Pennsylvania State Police at Dunmore reported that a 22-year-old woman drove from Dickson City south to Laflin on Interstate 81 North at about 5:37 a.m. on New Year’s Day. After receiving calls, state police observed the vehicle traveling at high speeds in the left lane of Interstate 81 North. Troopers traveling in [...]
Al Gore Sells His TV Network to Al Jazeera. Derka Derka
NY Time – Al Jazeera, the pan-Arab news giant, has long tried to convince Americans that it is a legitimate news organization, not a parrot of Middle Eastern propaganda or something more sinister. It just bought itself 40 million more chances to make its case. Al Jazeera on Wednesday announced a deal to take over [...]
Well, Nobody Told Them! College Women Binge Drinking More Often Than Men, Study Finds
(via HuffingtonPost.com) Women in college are more likely to binge drink than men according to a new study of Spanish university students published by the Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. The study from researchers at the University of Vigo showed female students got drunk faster than male students. Even though men tended to drink more [...]
Samuel L. Jackson Tries to Get an Interviewer to Drop the N-bomb and Breaks His Concentration
Reporter: “There’s been a lot of controversy surrounding the usage of the n-word in this movie,” Jackson “‘No’? ‘Nobody’? ‘None’? The word would be..?” Reporter: “I don’t want to say it,” Jackson “Why not?” Reporter: “I don’t like to say it,” Jackson: We’re not going to have this conversation unless you say it,” I have [...]
