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Movie Quotes for Alan Ford
Oh, shut up, Errol. Get back in your fucking pram. Tony, ain’t you house-trained?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Well, where’d you lose him? He ain’t a set of fucking car keys, is he? And it ain’t as if he’s incon-fucking-spicuous now, is it?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You’re not a dog, are ya Gary?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
You’re a ruthless little cunt, Liam, I’ll give you that. But I’ve got no time for grassers.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Are you taking the piss?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
You’re on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Turkish, put a lid on her.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Do you know these tits, Errol?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Of course, fucking of course. I wasn’t asking, I was telling.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
I don’t care if he’s Muhammad “I’m hard” Bruce Lee. You can’t change fighters.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
You’re not much use to me alive are you, Turkish?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt…me.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary…come again?
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
No thank you, Turkish; I’m sweet enough.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don’t want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I’m walking, and I’ll cut your fucking Jacobs off.
Movie:
Snatch.
Actor:
Alan Ford
Character:
Brick Top
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